Christmas at the Hero of Faith Academy

Merry belated Christmas everyone!

This production marks my 3rd Christmas production spent with Drama Ministry. This Christmas is the first time in a long while that really made me feel christmasy. I don't usually buy Christmas presents, but this Christmas I made an exception. Even when it burned a really big hole in my pocket, I got gifts to the best of my ability for my close ones. It is fun because when we put our hearts and thoughts to buy someone a gift and they do the same too, it's heartwarming and rewarding. Thanks everyone for all the Christmas cards and gifts... I feel so loved, so loved.

Anyway, the past week has indeed been tiring though. Not getting enough sleep, having an outbreak... It's been making me really down. But thank God that things would always come to an end. Because there's no work today, I can rest my cold a little bit more, and reset my body clock before heading back to office tomorrow. I managed to spend even more time with my drama peeps... chilling out together, shopping, just enjoying each others' company although we were all really tired. Sometimes I even talked without making sense. But it's these mistakes that you make and laugh together over that draws you closer to one another eh? haha.

January is coming. I'm excited. Muahaha, though I'm not going to have a party like other 21 year old kids, I know my 21st would be just as special, spending time with all the lovely people in my life. :D It would be a BLAST. teehee.

phie.

it's coming.

Photo credit naver.com

I received a message from Bingrong last night, reminding me that its less than 2 months to my 21st birthday. Thanks so much for reminding me. =.= Haha. Sometimes I hate being born at the start of the year, because it clashes with the new school term, people keep saying I'm old, and i don't get presents. But there are times when I really like being born at the start of the year. Cause as i approach the new year, I also approach a new age. It kind of helps to set my direction right as I turn another year older, with regards to what have I achieved throughout the year, and what I want to achieve in the coming one.

This birthday, I will turn 21. I will become an adult. 2011. I will go to Korea. Take a plane for the first time. Live without my parents for the first time. 2011. We will move to Suntec. I will miss the first stage for Drama Ministry. I will miss my cell group. I will miss my bffs' birthdays. There are many things to give up for the dream I'm pursuing. This is adulthood maybe?

So many people have said that I am a baby. And they always say that they can expect what I'm going to say and stuff. But is that true? How sure are you that that joking, laughing, noisy Steph is the real her? Haha. It's funny. I'm blessed naturally with great interpersonal skills. I just know how to make people laugh, even when they laugh at me, its okay. cause my objective is to make people happy. But apart from that persona, apart from liking kpop, apart from all that, there is a real me that perhaps not many people know of.

21 is coming. Time to grow up! Recent example of a 21-year-old irks me. =.=

Stephie.

22.10.2010

I'm sorry that I haven't been blogging in such a long while. There's been so much work to do. I'm going crazy.

I'm taking some time to pen things here, but things are accumulating. I have no idea why all lecturers like week 12 so much! I have this huge amount of things due on week 12, but I have a test next week/week11! And the internship I'm trying to apply for closes this Sunday. I hope I make it in time to write then send my cover letter. With so many things at hand, I don't know how it may be possible to do it, God will pull me through. I may be unable, but my God is able.

I haven't gone for tuition this week because of the crazy workload. I'm missing Hyunjun! :) Yay, cause I will see him today. Even though he throws tantrums at me sometimes, makes me boil like crazy at others, but he's still that adorable kid. I guess I don't blame him cause he's just 10. Haha, "bery good".

Okay, gotta go and bathe the dog. I think when I go to Korea, no one would bathe him. Zzzz. He's not even my dog per se. =.=

I've got to keep some emotions in check, lest they run out of hand.

Stephie.

bedtime

I should be turning in now but I really felt like I needed to write something here before I go to bed. I can't possibly turn in with all the thoughts and emotions going through me.

说话的时候，必须顾虑到别人的感受。就算是再要好的朋友，也会有不能说的话。而有些话，更不能公开地在别人面前说。 因为就算是开个玩笑，也会让人下不了台。I guess this is when "renewing your mind" comes in- letting go of this bad emotions and meditating on the Word.

该停止了，不能这样继续。收拾一下就得走了。似有似无, 也许这就是人心的恐怖，永远都猜不透。不该想， 不该， 不能， 不可以。

Stephie.

Coffee

It's 2am. I just finished reading through the letter for group meeting tomorrow. Attempted to work through the focus group transcript but got really frustrated trying to do so cause my ear is blocked on the left due to the cold. =.= I totally can't make out what the caucasian girl was saying in the entire discussion! So I gave up, shall do that tomorrow.

Just thought I'd just want to take a minute or two to write a little something here. I feel like drinking starbucks. HAHA.

There are tests this week. I really hope I'd be able to do well. Kind of worried cause it's finance. Urgh. Kill me. And there are still so many things apart from mugging to be done! I wish I have 48hours a day instead. Sigh.

Tomorrow will be a long day...

Stephie.

Jun

Yesterday I went with Jwenda to meet HyunJun. Ah, he's so cuteeeeeee~ I want to bring him home. Our very handsome tutee who is all alone here in Singapore. I really empathise with him a lot. My maternal instinct seems to be kicking in way too early. :S He's so shy! And his korean accent when he says "bery yummy" when he meant "very yummy" is just way too cute. I can remember his shocked face when I understood his Korean and his mutterings-to-self that I'm good with my Korean. Ah, too cute, i'm falling off my chair.

I asked him if I could stay with him, he said okay!ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ 진짜 귀여워요~

화영오빠...

ㅋㅋㅋ 미안해요.

난 깜박 잊어버렸어요...

한국어 공부하는 것을 많이 도와 줘서 너무 감사드리구요.

ㅋㅋㅋ내년 한국에 갈 때 잘 부탁해요!

ㅎ 술을 제외하고 많이 도와 주세요!

Enjoy your exchange here!~

love,

phie.

the mornings.

Time passes really quickly. It is instructional week 4 already.

Every morning I wake up, counting down to the end of this semester, counting down to going to Seoul. Yet a part of me lingers over my homeland, over the people here- my family, my friends, and even my dog. Having to go away for so long is an exciting and scary thought all at the same time. Regardless of what I feel, I have to go. I have to get out of Singapore, out of my comfort zone, to see the world, improve my skills and to learn independence.

한국에 갈 때 너 꼭 만나야 해... ㅠ.ㅠ

만일 우리 못 만나면 어쩌겠소?

아이고...

Grandma is out of the hospital already. Thank God. The doctors still have not figured out what is wrong with her. It's like a House case happening in reality. =.= I really want her to stay healthy, praying that her fever won't come back.

This week has been pretty hectic. I had a presentation on Monday and I have to prepare for 2 other presentations and 1 other assignment for next week. Will be off to bathe and leave for project meeting in a while.

I'm excited to follow Jwenda언니 to meet the Korean kid later. Think about the struggles a 20 year old kid may have when living alone in a country, then think about this kid. He's here all alone. Only 10 years old, in pursuit of a good education, away from his parents and living with people who don't speak his native language. My heart really goes all out for him. I really hope I'd be able to help him, in one way or another, really.

This semester has been great so far. Even though work has been crazy and some people have been driving me crazy, I thank God for the people who keep me sane. Superdan, Zen Shawn, Qiqi, I'm thankful I get to meet you guys so often. It satisfies my 2009V cravings. Michell and Zishan! I miss you 2 the most. :( and Uncle Derrick! Our after school dinners at Lot One. Haha.

Hyunjae, Kwangwoo and Clement! I'm glad you guys liked the 잡채 I made! Can't wait for us to celebrate 추석together. Seriously, Hyunjae, you made this semester really interesting, and you're really the best buddy I've had so far, apart from 도도. I really hope you and Kwangwoo would enjoy this time in Singapore, and I can't wait to go over to KU. :D As for Clement, come and find us after you finish your semester in US! We must meet in Korea with 오빠들. 꼭~

Okay, gotta go now.

Love,

phie.

fade in fade out.

Picture credits photographyblogger.net

Life is like a vicious cycle, taking it's toll on me. While one event fades into the background, another fades out into the centre stage. It seems like it just never ends, does it?

Just in case some of you start to misunderstand, my life too is like a roller coaster ride. There are times when I cry thinking about certain things, but the next minute i'm all chirpy and butterflying around. It's not that I'm never sad, it's not that my life is good. I just think I should have a little more faith. just a teeny weeny bit more.

Like now, I just wish this would fade away for me.

Stephie.

월요일의 우울한 기분이 없는데요!

YAY, it's finally Monday again. I know how many people sincerely hate me saying this, but because it's the holidays, mondays are less tiresome when held in comparison with the weekends. And I like mondays cause it's my stayhome days these few months, it helps me to recuperate from the weekends. :)

Haha, yesterday had so much fun dancing and acting. LOL, and tim, i keep thinking about you mimicking lulu with the bounce bounce ball. LOL!

It's bidding time yet again. Seriously, i hate bidding for modules. And I really want to take macroecons this semester! Why am i not allocated this mod! Zzz, I don't know if I should specialise. MKT2401? 21 slots for A3, can I get it? :S Urgh, but thankfully, the modules in NUS and KU are very mappable, so i don't run into an issue of taking useless modules next semester when I go for exchange. I checked the modules for SNU and they weren't half as mappable, thank God for giving me KU and not SNU.

I guess I really need direction from God. Before praying, I got reminded of this song and ended up worshipping the Lord.

THERE IS A PLACE IN YOUR HEART

I AM LONGING TO FIND
WON'T YOU SHOW ME
THERE IS A PLACE I KNOW
I CAN RUN TO AND HIDE
WON'T YOU SHOW ME
SHOW ME
SHOW ME
SHOW ME YOUR HEART
SHOW ME
SHOW ME
SHOW ME YOUR HEART

Very old song yes i guess. But it really expresses what I wanted to tell God. :) A man devises his plans, but God directs his path.

I've wanted to say this, and I shall say it here. Stop being childish and stop thinking that I've not moved on. You act like you've moved on, so can you please just do so? It's been so long. Which part of making me uncomfortable do you not understand? No, I don't think about the past, and neither do I want to do that. I'm happy where I am and I've never regretted since that day I chose to obey God. Look, I'm totally okay with being friends, but don't cross my boundaries cause it'd only make you sorry. Please show me that you've learned something for the past few years, or else I would just feel really sad for you. There's really more to life than just being in love or getting into relationships.

Stephie.

lately.

Hello everybody! My apologies, wanted to update this blog like eons ago, but couldn't find the kairos moment for it. You know, the right weather, the right mood, the right topic, the right words. I need that creative source of influence to blog. Haha, okay, I know, I'm just blabbering.

Hmm, so grandma was allowed to go home this week. Thankfully, it wasn't what the doctors suspected it to be. It was confirmed to be merely an infection yet they kept her at the hospital for a week, testing on her like she's some guinea pig. I'm really quite amazed that the hospital is that inefficient. With an ageing population ahead of us, I'm not quite sure if the hospitals are able to sustain then. :S

아, 정말 미안해요. 여러분 저는 많이 보고 싶지요? 블로그 쓰고 싶지만 좋은 시간이 없는 것 같아요. ㅋㅋㅋ 제가 좋은 날씨, 좋은 기분, 좋은 토픽, 좋은 말을 모두 다 있었으면 블로그 쓸 수 있어요. ㅋㅋㅋ 영감이 필요 해요. ㅋㅋㅋ그래, 나는 거짓말을 하고 있어요. ㅋㄷ

Stephie.

Falling.

FIND ME IN YOUR HOLINESS
LEAD ME IN YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS
HOW I LOVE YOU
BEAUTIFUL SAVIOR
WHEN I'M WEAK YOU MAKE ME STRONG
BEARING MY CROSS I CARRY ON
HOW I NEED YOU
HEAVENLY FATHER

SEARCH MY HEART O LORD
YOU KNOW MY EVERY THOUGHT
AN OPEN BOOK TO YOU
I PLACED MY ALL IN YOUR HANDS

FALLING AT YOUR FEET
AS MY WHOLE WORLD FADES AWAY
FALLING AT YOUR FEET
LET MY LIFE BE WHOLLY THINE
MY LIFE BE WHOLLY THINE
JESUS

EMMANUEL
EMMANUEL
ABBA FATHER, NEVER LET ME GO

Picture credits Phil Pringle.

Worshipping late into the night is enjoyable. Old songs are nice too. :)

Stephie.

lovely weather☁

I'm sitting on my bed at home - blogging. Finally enjoying some solitude after a hectic week. The weather is just fantastic, considering the rain earlier in the morning, its still cooling in the afternoon. I simply love the rain.

Yesterday's combined cell group meeting with n284 was absolutely fantastic! All of us had to prepare a 3 minute sermon on faith and preach it to the rest. It was great to hear everyone share about what they think faith is about. And I suppose like what Meitong said, our experiences in life shaped our beliefs of faith. When faith is shared, it inspires and stirs each one of us. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Hearing from everyone was great because now we know, there's a preacher in all of us! Haha. It's fun, I want to do it again. The satisfaction you get knowing that you've prepared a great word/offering message is just splendid. You're just waiting for God to move during the meeting. But beyond the fun, it's really how the God uses us to release His Word to touch the hearts of the people. I'm just happy to be used as a channel.

I've been thinking about a lot of things actually. But i'm not very sure if all that I am wondering about should be written here. Oh wells.

God is just amazing, isn't He? Because of all things, God gave us the freedom of choice. Hmm, sticky.

I'm craving for crepes. Gonna meet James for dinner! :D

Love,

Stephie.

hanging out.

Sorry for the lack of updates. I'm currently out at Scape macs with two cuties Karuna and Saunders. The kids are doing their work while i'm on my Mac. :)

Silly me forgot that my shoulders are sunburnt and i still brought my handbag out. =.= AH, i deserve it la.

Spent my last 2 days at Sentosa. Yesterday's Shrekotsa was really tiring but enjoyable. :) Came home after zone outing and had a wonderful steamboat dinner with my family. I WAS SO HUNGRY, not having enough food yesterday made me eat like a pig. :D I fell asleep at 12 yesterday, and woke up at 1130am today. So i didn't just eat like a pig I slept like a pig too! haha, sorry, had to make up for all the lost sleep you see.

I remembered the last time Barry asked me what drives me to want to be a cgl and I couldn't answer, now I think I somehow might have the answer to this question already. Youth, a precious time in life when they are most readily shaped and molded. I feel the budding passion for the youths lately. Maybe that is what drives me. Gotta pray and get that confirmed.

RAWR. me hungry again. :D waiting for 7pm to come and meet the rest of the peeps. HAHA. love DM.

너, 나쁜 남자야.

난 널 싫어해.

우리는 이년전에는 다 끝났어.

알 찮아?!

Stephie.

AC 2010

The phenomenal 5 days have finally ended. Wow, it's amazing. One of the most tiring 5 days ever, but the presence of God is just amazing. The drama team did stunning too! I'm so glad that I'm in such an awesome ministry, cheering one another in the the competitions, praying together before productions, sitting together for services, and of course! Acting on the same stage with one another. Love it ttm. Now that the conference has ended, its time to reflect on what have been taught, what has been learned, and the action plan ahead. :)

Due to the lack of sleep, despite sleeping for like 11h, i am still soooo tired. And there are still remnants of things to be done! tsk tsk!

Yes, i got my results today. Man, i would say it's DISAPPOINTING! sighhhh, when i'm done being sad, i need to work harddddddd... and pray that application to KU will succeed. rawr. I NEED to go to Korea, outta Singapore. yes.

And to my GORGEOUS BOSS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for making me who I am today, the opportunities you have given to me, the encouragement you gave, and most importantly, the love. Thank you for making Drama Ministry such an awesome place to serve God in! Thank you for loving me!I LOVE YOU BOSS! Gonna miss you and Sandy when you guys leave to study in US! :( Hope that this year will be the best year yet ever for you! Stay gorgeous ALWAYS Boss! :D

Okay, off to paint my nails then do those things that need to be done. HAH!

Stephie.

i just want to eat some pizza~

I came home, shut the door, fell on my knees. I took my guitar and started worshiping the Lord, weeping in His presence. I don't know how long I cried, how long I sang or how much I prayed. I was really tired, and I fell asleep in God's presence. It was like a Elijah-moment. And it felt good being nursed in the presence of God.

When I eventually woke up, good news came.

I can only say God is truly amazing. Who but Him knows the greatest desires of my heart? And there were many choices I could have made. But I'm glad I chose to seek the Holy Spirit instead and seek comfort in the Lord. I love You God. I really do.

As of now, I'm craving for some PIZZA~~~ LOL

Stephie.

guess who's back.

It's me, back to update my blog here.

Actually there ain't much to write about. So gonna keep this post brief I suppose.

Hmm, finally got the email today regarding tri-uni, I guess it's time to start work again! 2 more weeks to Asia Conference and 2 months to go for tri-uni. Ahhh, work, it never ends, does it?

You know, I know i oughta be cleaning up my room and packing all the books nicely since the semester has ended, but the weather ain't conducive for such activities, and I have no idea where to begin! Aish, messy messy...

Oh oh! I finally bought my crop leather jacket yesterday! WHOO! I've been wanting to get one for quite some time now. Hah, so to say, it's worth the wait, and definitely the price. umm. :D

I'm leaving it all behind. Goodbye, here I pack and I leave, never to come back again.

Stephie.

Shutter Island.

Yesterday I went out with Danny and CQQ to watch Shutter Island. Gosh, I must say it is a really really awesome film! Leonardo's acting is really good, but more than the acting itself, the plot of the story is simply splendid. It set me thinking during the show, but it wasn't like some confusing show that you won't understand. The plot just draws you in and makes you want to know how the story would develop. All in all, I would say it is a must watch! I would put it on par with Sherlock Holmes. Heh.

The next movie to conquer would be...The nightmare on elm street! whee, horror is so my thing. wahahahaha.

Man, all the korean people are leaving already! ><

Mmm, gonna go for auditions tonight! whoo! :D

Stephie.

다 끝났어!!~

Whee, finally, year one has come to an end! :D

A semester really goes by so quickly. Hmm, I haven't found an internship yet, getting a little edgy already. But still, there's lotsa things to get busy with! So, welcome work and goodbye to school for now!

Yesterday after the exam ended, the class went out for dinner at Crystal Jade. OMG XLB buffet! :D I totally lost count of the number of XLBs i ate man. Yes, i know, so fattening! But okay, there was my reward for all the studying during the exams, shall offset it by doing more workouts. ><

After a very filling dinner, we went to check out Marina Bay Sands! :D SO THRILLING! haha, ok, was my suggestion cause I wanted to check out the DNA bridge. The last time Weishan drove past the area I saw the bridge which was soooo crowded but gorgeous. So since I brought baby along yesterday, I decided to go and check out the place! WHEEEE! it's really really beautiful! there were even nucleotide pairs on the floor of the bridge. Definitely a place to go with your loved ones, though I felt it was a little crowded despite being a monday night. We went to check out the casino as well! mm, of course, we didn't go IN. Hah, we went around the mall, checked out the area. I love night lights! I think by the time they complete the building, the view is going to be quite spectacular. The only problem i have with the place is directions! mmm, as everyone knows, I'm a total direction idiot. BUT everyone else from alum group v didn't know how to walk either! haha, I still haven't figured out where's the nearest station. Nonetheless there are still buses that brings you to Marina Bay Sands directly, so it ain't that bad!

Yay, going out with the girls later! Going to watch SHUTTER ISLAND! :D yesss Leonardo, wait for me!

I won, but that isn't all that I want?

stephie.

보고 싶다.

Hah, i'm missing the DM peeps! I can't help but stand in amazement at how cameras really capture the moment. This photo was taken when we were having some random joke that got us all excited and rolling around on the floor. And I guess it really captures the essence of the moment. Like when I photographed lovely last week.

Some people told me they can see how in love lovely is from the photos. I can feel it too! Gosh, the proposal is still fresh in my head. I'm so glad lovely has found the man of her life, and will soon progress to the next stage of her life! I'm so excited for her, even though i know the wedding is still far. But still! it's LOVELY! Hah, this makes me feel like getting married too. LOL.

Ahem, then again, why should girls have long hair? This thought has been pestering me for a while now. I mean, I really love my short hair the way it is, I feel happy, more confident, more at ease, and more "steph" than ever. The hair suits my personality! Being extroverted, bubbly and all. But sometimes i really miss having the long hair! Haha, my hair grows so slowly, will it grow in time for the wedding? Hmmm...

2 down, 3 more to go! Sociology's on early tomorrow morning. I shall stop getting distracted and head back to the books!

stephie.

잘가.

난 미친 것 같아.
我觉得自己很傻。
干么拿热脸去贴人家的冷屁股？

我喜欢雨天，你却喜欢下雨之前的天气。
遗憾的， 每一次下起雨， 我就会想起你。
你已经不是我认识的那个他了。

널 잊어 거야...

stephie.

last night.

어제 밤에 우리 또 만났지만 이야기 못 해.

왜이렇게 나도 몰라.

힘내.

그리고 너.

너 왜이래?

내 인생 너 없으면 좋겠어.

나쁜 남자.

제발...

저한테 연락하지말아.

Stephie.

MAPP

Whee, I'm sitting in school waiting for project meeting to start at 2PM, so meanwhile, I'm taking some time to update my blog! Miss you everyone, sorry for the lack of updates, i've been really busy!

Now that Easter is over, I'm both sad and relieved! I'm suffering from my post-production blues, missing everyone from DM. :( Asia Conference come! Exams GO! I seriously can't wait for the examinations to be over. I'm rushing my final project! ACC1002!~ monday monday monday monday...=.=

I came to school early today to meet the career counsellor for my MAPP review. Gosh, so many things are so true of me, though there are some parts I didn't agree, but most of it really reflected my true self!

"Stephanie prefers and needs change and variety. Change is motivating, stimulating, and energising. Stephanie looks for new options, challenges, assignments, acquaintances, relationships and even new careers in new places. Stephanie tires of sameness, repetition, routine even in activities that were interesting at the start. once things become routine for Stephanie, this becomes motivation to move on to more interesting things. "

Maybe that's why i'm sick and tired of things.

stephie.

drowning.

所谓人望高处看，可是如果高处太摇不可及，那该如何？

It's like I am thrown overboard in the storm and left to survive in the ocean. Every single time I feel like I finally struggled through to stay afloat, another tsunami hits, and the impact pushes me back, deep into the ocean. It seems that I might just drown, I might just die this time. I am gasping for oxygen.

I remembered when i was 15, i made that prayer to God. A foolish, childish prayer. Little did i expect, when i was 20, I would make that same prayer again.

Stephie.

the still of the night

I guess it's always the nights that make people emotional, set them thinking about anything and everything. I'm human, so i think too.

Sometimes i wonder if everything is worth it. Giving up all those things, losing those friends just so to lead this life that I am living right now. There are times when i wonder am i really happy and is there anybody close to my heart. Sometimes the answers get diluted. Then it's time to rededicate back.

Elison.

sleep sleep sleep.

Wow, I haven't blogged for a month! I've been really tired lately, coming home late and leaving home early isn't the best thing for my body. I'm not exactly looking forward to recess week either, cause there's tons of work left to be done then. Sigh, this semester is really draining for me. 1 project per module is disgusting. Urgh, I can't wait to leave for Korea.

I'm still aching all over. Going to bed soon after I'm done preparing for my interview tomorrow morning. P&G is just an amazing organisation. YAWN. Goodnight world. See you soon.

Love,

stephie.

family.

It's you guys who keep me alive. Thanks for making me who I am today. My family.

Elison.