goodness!

I just realised I have the unglam-est photos on church website. rawr.

elison.

be careful

Thank you weishan for fetching me around today. But he made me wait for him for so long on his car when he went to his office...I was so bored, I took photos on his car.
My meiosis notes. Reading while breathing in carbon monoxide..*chokes*
Okay, this looks like i'm really bored.

Hmm, so after that we drove to ttsh. Goodness, weishan talks on the phone when he drives WITHOUT using a headset. It's so dangerous. and he drives so fast,i felt like i almost died. And I had to put up with his mushy calls with his dear-dear. LOL, lousy. somemore say i remind him of his sister.

So we got to the hospital. Almost got a shock when my dear was not on the bed.

Life is so fragile. My precious kexin isn't well. Seeing her in pain and agony makes my heart ache too. How fragile is life. How would we see things coming? If you're reading this my dear, I love you so much, will be continuously praying for you. You must be strong and get well soon...

We stayed with kexin for some time. Boy, I think she really wants to kick weishan. After that, cause weishan had been talking about novena chicken rice the whole morning, my new gor gor brought me to the store n treated me to chicken rice. WAHAHAHA...

And, because of him, I was late for dental. CRAP.

I think Satan has something against me. Things never seem to stop coming. He's getting a bit irritating. Talking to weishan puts me to thoughts, its a psychological perspective plus a tinge of spirituality. Take away from today: good to think a lot, but your thoughts must get you somewhere!

Okay, got to get back to studying.

elison.

BIG THANKS

I realised that blog readership rises when you post. I suppose it goes according to the frequency of updates.

Anyway, this past week has been, erm, indescribable... The encounters with God, the emotional struggles, everything seem to fall in place now when I begin to look back. Just can't help but proclaim how awesome God is. I've been thinking through about a lot of things, done a lot of reflection, condemned myself a lot, but nothing beats a touch from God to melt this heart and heal all hurts. I love Abba Father. Through this period, i think i've grown, mostly in my thoughts, and hopefully it'd help me grow in my maturity too.

A lot mugging this past few days, which explains why I haven't been blogging. Less than 40 days till it ends. TAKE IT AWAY!

Oh yea, i wanna thank some people.

Grace
BLOSSOM! thanks for staying by me during this period of time, encouraging me through it all. You made me think a lot too. Thanks for the chocolate mirror and choco baby! :) it's OFFICIAL, you shall be chocolate blossom! <3

James
Oppa, although your letter came a bit late, I wanna tell you how important it still means to me. You never fail to cheer me up and put a smile on my face, while through all the letters, teaching me, helping me to grow in faith and also as a person. You're another person who makes me think and reflect a lot, and I'm so glad to have an oppa like you that I can share my life with! haha, find thomas, let's go for the brainiest thing.

Meitong
dearest meitong, I guess there's no one else who can understand me better than you. Sometimes I guess I'm really too hard on myself. But thank you too, for being so willing to correct me, to teach me and guide me, and through it, sometimes it hurts from the breaking, but I really see myself growing, and i want to see myself changed. I'm so glad for a leader like you. I LOVE YOU! <3

Xuanie
I think I have the most to say to you! :) But i guess not here. besides I LOVE YOU MANY MANY TOO! <3 (hahah, me and broken english)

From failure comes character. That's when we all LEARN, then grow.

Got to get back to my books.

RAWR.

elison.

not until today

Having gone through SOTM, and being a Christian for 4 years, I guess I never really understood what brokenness meant, not until today.

So much grieving, so much tears.

"Before the Lord quickens a scripture to an individual, the Lord has many things to do. The Lord wants to cleanse your life and make you surrendered to Him."

It hurts, more than anything else, it hurts. But godly sorrow changes.

"As the Lord deals with you, take time to wait upon Him; confessing your sins, and surrendering your life to Him. When these conditions are met, then the power of God comes....When God deals with you, He always deals with you through the healing of your soul."

Take me apart piece by piece.

elison.

to desolation.

It's not Us. It's Them. It's the System. It's Pop Music. It's Violence on TV. It's George Bush. It's Lee Kuan Yew. It's all these Homophobic people. It's all these Homosexuals. It's all this Porn on the Internet. It's because People don't read anymore. It's because They Don't Understand Us. Whatever it is. it's never about ourselves first and foremost. Therein lies our problem. It should always be about Us and Our choices.
-Broader Perspective, Issue 4

Think, steph think. Harder. Pray, more. not enough, not enough.

Sometimes it seems so hard to go through moulding. There's breaking. There's praying. There's decision making. There's changing. We can't embrace tomorrow if we refuse change.

No matter how hard. I must...i must..

elison.

then again

I was just about to go and pray when this song came to my mind.

Jesus
Jesus
Holy and anointed One
Jesus
Your Name is like honey on my lips
Your Spirit like water to my soul
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet
Jesus I love You
I love You

Hmm, a wonderful name. A name that brought me through the darkest days of my life. Then again, it's not just a name. <3

I was talking to gracie the other day, and I thought about how I used to be much closer to some ppl, but now things have changed. Sad, maybe, but He's the same always. I wish we all don't change, but if we don't, life would become a constant. RAHH, the paradox of life.

elison.