sacrifice

why are people selfish?
why do we always expect people to sacrifice for us, yet we are full of unwillingness to make that little sacrifice for others?
Even if it means travelling.
Even if it means it takes up time.
Some are still willing, others can't even be bothered.
Excuses is the word.
We all are busy with our own agendas to accomplish what.
But some just are more concerned about their own than to spare a thought for others.

elison.

your love is a lie

Their eyes locked.
They made connection.
From that moment, love blossomed.
To her, it felt like a fairytale.
Perfect.
He was a great guy.
She thought of the futures they could have together.
Probably get married 6 to 7 years down the road.
Give birth to a few kids and have a beautiful home.
He came and became to integral to her life.
Everyday it was orientated about this man.
Every moment that they share, to her, it was worth remembering.
She gave the best that she could to this relationship.
For nine months, it all went well.
Just when she thought forever,
It marked the end.
He had come and become her oxygen
From a nobody, to an essential.
now he left and stripped her of what she needed.
What is going to become of her?
Yes, we can live without one another.
But the pain and turmoil kills her.
She wished that this was all a joke,
maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow he'd return and say he loves her.
Yesterday he said it was for her own good.
Today he asked her to move on without him.
his love was just a lie.

but hey, God's love is not a lie.
BE STRONG my girl.

elison. (:

seriously

Fire burns, but one day it'd eventually die down.

That is only when we don't continue to give it fuel, and fan it to make sure the flames continue to burn.

19072008. It's a brand new beginning with God, the beginning of more adventures. Yes, I've seen people who have thrown in the towel even after coming this far and receiving the power to break sin in their lives, I've seen people who decided that this God wasn't worth them giving up their all for. But guess what? I don't really care.

I don't really care if people say that I'm wasting my time. I don't really care if people may feel that all that i'm chasing after is "just for the moment". I don't really care if they are not willing to submit to authority and leadership. I don't really care if they have resolved that they can plan for the future better than God can. I don't really care about what other people have chosen and haven't regretted.

Because I've chosen, and I've never regretted, never regretted feeling His presence, His touch, and hearing His voice. I've never regretted coming this far with God because I know each moment that I live, He's with me. He's never given up on me. Yes, I love drama, I love cell group, I love City Harvest. But most of all, I love God for He gave all these to me. I can't imagine where I'd be if I hadn't met Him 4 years ago. I can't imagine what I'd become if I had decided to throw in the towel. I never want to know.

God, continue to stir the flames alive within me. Holy Spirit, fill me with your oil so that I can continue to burn without dying out. I want and I need You for the rest of my life.

Stephie.

goodness

Gosh, have I made everyone worried? Chill, I'm great! Not emotional or any of that sort, just that I'm trying to use this little brain of mine for BIG thoughts. (:

Is this the beginning of a new friendship? Pastor says disappointed people cluster together, but we are not disappointed, strong women also cluster together! I just want to help to see her through...

off to study, I'm really tired.

elison.

fragility

Something began to reaffirm me about the fragility of friendship. Like how speciation occurs in the theory of evolution, geographical isolation can also cause people to draw away from each other, doesn't matter how close these people were or how enjoyable were the times they had together. Meitong told me before that friendships in lives have phases... not all are meant to to last forever, when the phase ends, the friendship ends. So, "friends forever" is essentially a lie. It's sad but that's just reality. I mean how many times have we said that when we were kids, and where are those people whom we've said these words to now? 9 out of 10 of them would no longer be part of our lives by now. I thought he meant the world to you, but now? What then is eternal? What then is everlasting? I guess the best idea in my head right now would be really to cherish the people around me in my life. Sometimes an sms to tell my girlfriends that I love them matters, sometimes a card or a simple act can tell them that they matter to you. Friendships are not dependent on the quantity of them spent, but really the quality.

there are some things in life that grieves me. I need God to lift me up.

elison.

the seemingly endless horizon

Hmm, so i guess within each one of us, God has placed within us the desire for productivity, and with that, the longing for maturity. Maturity can come through many ways, some through trials and tribulations, some through encounters with God, but nonetheless, they are all through the Holy Spirit.

Not all of us have to go through heartaches to grow in maturity in God, but sadly, some of us just have to. The feeling? Horrendous, i must say. It seems like all the lactic acid is building up to the max in our muscles and at any moment, giving up seems to be the more logical thing to do than to hang on and let your muscles feel strained and fatigue. That's why some choose to throw in the towel and leave, away, away from Him forever. While others choose not to darken their spiritual eyes and vision but with the light of God, see the possible future of themselves happy and moved on to do greater things for God. Being in love feels great, having someone to spend your time with, to depend and lean on, to share your life with. Yet when we fall out of love, many of us wished we've never been in love. Like what meitong mentioned yesterday, this wouldn't even have happened if we had guarded our hearts in the first place. hmm, wrong timing wrong person i guess. I was too young both in age and in the spirit to rationally consider the consequences. I guess it's the same for her as well. The point to note here is not the mistakes we've made, but the aftermath of them, that is, growing in greater dependency on the Holy Spirit and be more sensitive to Him. That is how maturity will begin to develop. On the lighter note, with less burdens, we've got more time to serve God and greater freedom to the various things in life. What more could we ask? With that, everything else can wait. Men can wait.

For each and every one of us, we want to have friends, we want to be loved. But this desire cannot be satisfied at the expense of our dignity and moral values. As Christians, we've got to be firm in what the Word of God says, the Bible is the standard that our lives should be matched to. How we know if we've been a good servant or disciple, is when we check our lives against the Word of God. Never, ever, compromise your moral values or the standards of God according to the beliefs of man just so that you can enjoy the pleasures of sinful fellowships. In all that we do and the circumstances we face, we need to ask ourselves how would Jesus react or what would He do if He was in the same situation as us. Always be open to the Holy Spirit about the relationships that we have in our lives, so that we do not make ungodly friendships.

The life to maturity is never easy. There will be trials and testings. The Bible says that "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4). So the word is to ENDURE. Always remember that pain is temporal, but the joy of the Lord is eternal.

In closing,

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,
1 Peter 1:6-7

Stephie.

kermit is at it!

Hmm, so kermit has officially won my heart with his rainbow connection song. It's replaying in my heart, along with nine in the afternoon and lie about us. I guess we all still possess the remnants of a child in us, hiding deep inside. I'm 18, but when I'm not serious, i often feel like i'm 14. Not that I'm childish, but it's just that I crack those super lame and funny jokes that sets jiani sijia shihui and jie laughing like mad.

Talking with sijia set me thinking. Why is it that we could all realise the problem with some people, yet to themselves, what they are doing is perfectly fine? But God let me not be critical or judgemental, but help to accept them yet not approve of what they do.

Today hasn't been exactly great. I just got home from school, and I counted the total number of times I've been to the toilet since I woke up this morning. FOUR. It was my favourite number, note the word is was. I hope it ends there so it won't ever get to my index number or my legs will soon become jelly. We also got back our result slips today. It's a DUDED. Hmm, apparently for economics and math were better than I expected. I've gotta start working harder already. by prelims must be AABBC. The purpose of being a student...

Coming to studies, I guess I've got t end it all here and accomplish all the work for today. There's still chemistry test tomorrow to be studied for!

toodles.

stephie.

hmm

Sometimes life is a merry go round, a vicious cycle that on our conscious effort, we try to get out of.

God is a faithful God, I'm finally getting my water baptism. It'd be 12 days before my spiritual birthday. So cool, I came to know God in July, and I'm getting water baptised in July as well. Haha. :D

I think I'm really loving fasting. It helps to bring prayers to pass. Fasting is the lifestyle of a disciple. Turn to fasting when you don't know what to do and you want the Holy Spirit to lead you, turn to fasting when praying alone doesn't seem to help.

Van is having bbq later. I've got to go and help her soon.

elison.