heartbroken.

Maybe I should give it all up.

Elison.

오랫만 이에요..

Whoa, it's been almost a month since I got this updated! I was kinda caught up with the examinations and so I didn't have time to sit down and blog.

Now that exams are over, I get busier as Christmas is approaching. This year's Christmas is going to be greater than ever. I know it. Hahah, things to be done just have no end to it. ><

Thankfully the holidays are here! Haha, I remember being uber excited for school to start, and now, I can't wait for holidays to come. tsk. There are so many things I want to do this holiday, like bringing my babies out to take photos, watch my korean dramas, study hard for korean and of course hang out with people that I've been missing on!

As 2009 comes to an end, I can't help but do some reflections. This year has been a year full of up and downs. Many things have happened - graduating from NJ, first-time working, getting A level results, going to university, first-time filming for movie, forging new friendships while others terminated.

I realised the reality of the world, reality of society? People are fake. Indeed, you guys are pretty different from us.

And you, I feel so sorry for you. For love for a woman, you sacrifice what God has in store for you. I feel so sorry for you and your sheep. I'm not over-reacting. What is the point of gaining what you want, and losing your own soul? There are consequences that you chose to overlooked, because to you, feelings and love, are more important.

But 2009, God has been a faithful God. While there were people who were very important to me in my life who left me, God has given me new found friendships and strengthened old ones. No one is better to me than God.

Day one of fasting! :D

Okie, gonna rest a while. Have to go for rehearsals later. (:

Elison.

just felt like so.

I just felt in the mood to write.

Sometimes I guess I really hate facebook. I hate the fact that some people have evolved to be just lifeless profile pages. I can only see them off my computer. That's all.

Goodbye-장근석

어떡하죠 바라만 보네요
짧은 인사조차 건낼수가 없네요
시리도록 차가운 내 손 잡아주지만
이제는 그만 보내야하죠

어떡하죠 멀어져 가네요
가슴 가득 눈물만 차오네요
애써 감춰봐도 멈출수가 없어요
끝내 잡지 못한 이 맘을 어떡하나요

사랑했던 그 기억을 놓지 말아요
다시 웃게 해줄 다른 사람 만나도
아픈 이별까지도 그대라 다행이죠
슬픈 눈물 모아서 안녕

아무것도 해준게 없네요
못나게도 상처만 남겼네요
변해간 맘조차 감싸 안아준사람
이제 보내야할 그대를 어떡하나요
사랑했던 그 기억은 놓지 말아요
다시 웃게 해줄 다른 사람 만나도
아픈 이별까지도 그대라 다행이죠
숨이 멎을 만큼 아파와 눈물 흘러도
행복했던 그기억은 놓지 말아요
다시 웃게 해줄 다른 사람 만나도
아픈 이별까지 그대라 다행이죠
닿지 못한 내사랑 이젠 보내야 하죠

오직나를 웃게 할 사람 그대 뿐인걸
사랑이 깊어져 마음이 아파와도
행복했던 그 기억은 놓지 말아요

다시 웃게 해줄 다른 사람 만나도
아픈 이별까지 그대라 다행이죠
슬픈 눈물 모아서 내가 할 수 있는 일
안녕.

What should I do? All I can do is gaze at you
I can't even extend you a short greeting
My achingly cold hand, don't hold it
Now I have to let you go

What should I do? You grow further away
My chest fills with tears
Even though I try hard to hide it, I can't stop
What should I do with this love I can't end

Please don't forget that we loved each other
Even if you meet someone else who makes you laugh
The farewell is painful, but I'm glad that it was you that I loved
Gathering my sorrowful tears, goodbye

I've done nothing for you
Pitifully I've only left you with scars

You who embraced even my changed feelings
Now I have to let you go. What should I do?
Please don't forget that we loved each other
Even if you meet someone else who makes you laugh
The farewell is painful, but I'm glad that it was you that I loved
Even though the pain stops my breath and my tears fall

Please don't forget that we were happy
Even if you meet someone else who makes you laugh
The farewell is painful, but I'm glad that it was you that I loved
Now I have to let go of this love that was unable to connect

The only person who will make me smile is you
Even though as my love deepens I feel more pain

Please don't forget that we were happy
Even if you meet someone else who makes you laugh
The farewell is painful, but I'm glad that it was you that I loved
Gathering my sorrowful tears, the only thing I can do is say...

Goodbye

I just need to hide this.

Elison.

the art of writing

My apologies for the lack of updates on my beloved blog. But writing to me is more of an art, definitely more than mere words. It requires the right timing, the right weather, the right feel, and substantial content. There's a kairos moment to it. Okay okay, I'm talking rubbish, I know. =.=

It's been a while since I blogged. I was pretty caught up with all the project meetings. Now that marketing presentation is over, there are more things to come! Like movie filming, drama rehearsals, and exams. Well, it's a ton of work, and work is never-ending. There's no time to complain, but to put in my best effort in all these that I'm doing. :D It's going to be tough maybe, but it's definitely a period of stretching and enlarging my capacity and abilities. Nonetheless, it's a joy to serve God. It always feels good to go for rehearsals and church. :)

다시 그 때로 가면 우리 만날 수 있을 것 같아.
그댈 닮은 사람 없어도 나는 그댈 기억하니까.
어디서든 무얼해도 나는 기억하니까.
그대 이름 같은 사람 없어도 나는 기억하니까.
내가 숨쉬는 동안은 그대 기억하니까.
마음이 아파와.
하고싶은 말은 많지만 가슴 속에 묻어.
너를 그만 보내야 하니까.
사랑했던 사람을 또 다시 나는 안보게.
사랑했던 사람을 난 두 번 다신 안보게 해.
기억으로도 추억으로도 모두 지우게.
그래야 내가 살 수 있을 것 같아.
이제는 더이상.
너를 부정하고 싶지 않은.
나를 알고 있지만.
가까이 있는 널 사랑할 수 없는 걸 알고 있기에.
날 바라볼 수 없는.
널 기다림이 너무 힘들어.
이젠 견딜 수 없어.
이뤄질 수 없기에.
그 이름 이제 적어놓고 나 울먹여.
내 안에 숨고 싶어져.

Elison.

Ring ding dong!~

Daddy was asking me if I had brought baby out to take photos. And then I realised I haven't really done so! I wanted to use baby to take nice sceneries, but I had been so busy, there hadn't been time for me to do that! :( I promise after the exams end, I will bring baby out...

Anyway, if you are wondering, I'm going to take up the offer. Gee, there are so much uncertainties ahead, especially having to juggle with so many things, I know it's not going to be easy. But it's really a good chance to go into the marketplace. Besides, building fund is coming, and this would probably help a lot in fulfilling it. I guess everything will work out. Even though it may be tough for now, all things WILL, eventually, work out.

I'm always only free on monday or tuesday to blog. the rest of the week usually breezes past me. =.= Life.

Elison.

waraku

ahhh, I'm back to blog after being missing for a week. Hmm, i seem to be a really busy person, and staying committed to blogging and facebooking is too difficult. Perhaps it's the reason why my blog posts are getting shorter as time goes by?

Anyway, I went for the movie audition today! Hmm, I should say it was a good experience? But really stage and camera are very very different, filming for the past few days didn't really help me to get used to it. =.=

YAY! Today I met lovely for dinner at waraku, finally fulfilling our appointment from 2 years ago? Haha.

Me (putting the sushi in my mouth): Mmm, this fish sushi is very fishy.

Lovely stares at me.

We burst into laughter. :)

It's always the little things that we do together that means so much to me. <3

Oh yes, I bought 2 bags for 35 bucks. Unbelievable? Believe it. :)

Love,

Elison.

not so good

정말 미안해요, I had been tied down by the mid-term examinations, so I couldn't find the time to update. Now that the exams have finally ended yesterday, I'm feeling so much more at ease. Yet of all times, I have to fall sick NOW? :( I thought I was getting better in the afternoon, cause I stopped sneezing that much already, but my head just hurts like crazy. It seems like a fever is going to follow soon. It making me groggy and all. Worse still, I had to go for subject pool despite being sick. That $2 i earned didn't serve as much consolation. =.=

Tomorrow is going to be another long day, will be going for leadership dialogue, filming for announcements and then helping out at drama workshop. ><

I don't understand you. I doubt anyone of us does. Do you even treat us as your friends? You are 20, but you are not acting like one. I guess I thought of you wrongly. But then again, how could 2 months be sufficient for us to know you, when you opened some doors and closed some other? If men is all that matters to you...

Elison.