행복이란

오늘 기분이 너무 너무 좋아해요.

I guess I had a really good talk with Barry. He reminded me of things I've forgotten and taught me many things along the way. Ahh, I was so nervous preaching earlier. But I'm glad I still did it! :D Thanks Barry for believing in me. 

Anyway, this was something I learned from Barry today...

To know God as three persons is to know the Godhead in its fullness. There is only one God — the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. "Hear, O Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one” (Deut. 6:4). The three are one God. To illustrate this in a simple way, we have one sun in the sky, but in that sun you have the light and you have the heat that comes off the sun. You can't separate them even though they are distinct and have three purposes. The sun could represent the Father, the light could represent the Son and the heat could be the Holy Ghost. You can't separate the Godhead, sometimes called the “three-in-one.”

What a unique but easy to understand way to explain about our triune God. The Sun. I thought it was really interesting and I'd just share it here with you...

There are many things to learn. Nonetheless, the walk with God is most important. Things may not always go the way we want them to. The important thing is to know that Man disappoints, but God doesn't. For everything you do, do it unto the Lord. For everything in life, trust in the Lord, and not in Man. Your confidence and esteem must be built on the Lord. Love, and let love. 

Taking time to set the foundations right...

Elison.

deep thoughts are not always visible.

Ah, I was surfing the net today...watching maangchi teach her readers how to prepare all the korean dishes, I started looking for pictures of 도시락..This bear is so cute right? I think if someone ever makes me a 도시락 like that, I won't BEAR to eat it cause it's BEARY cute. LOL.. Anyway, yesterday I finally managed to find the food thermos I had been looking for! Yes, it has 2 separate containers inside, one for rice, one for soup and one for side dishes. Really cool eh? With this I think I'll cook more in the future, since I can bring them out.

Ahh, I'm learning. Thus far, I've succeeded in making 닭죽, 김밥 and 김치 볶음밥...When I find the time to make a trip to a korean groceries store, I'd go grab some ingredients to make 순두부 찌개 and 잡채. I ALSO WANT TO TRY MAKING MY OWN 도시락! Hahah, I really want to try making the egg rolls that Lee Minho ate in Boys over flowers. Kekeke.

I'm a really good girl today. I stayed home and cleaned up my room. It amounted to six sacks of rubbish to be thrown away. A lot eh?

I found the old letters that people have written to me over the years. I suppose I've already thrown some away cause I couldn't find those really antique ones...My letters have amounted to 2 giant ziplock bags full. When I took them out to read today, I thought about what the person was trying to tell me at the point in my life, and what I probably would have replied to that letter. I thought about the kind of friendship we used to share. I found letters from people whom I really wished our friendship lasted. It's sad they didn't survive the test of time. I relinquished the promises that didn't last. Letters written for the sake of doing so? Letters that lacked sincerity. Letters that I wished I never received. But it was heartwarming to read letters from friendships that did, and I guess these letters did draw me closer to them. People like Meitong, Yunrui, Peixuan, James...their letters were of comfort and support to me. James wrote me the most letters. Aye, cause I know him for the longest time in church. Peixuan wrote me the longest letters, she's so longwinded? Hahah, jk jk, I love long letters. Actually I just love letters. I think they really bring back valuable memories.

Currently listening: 마주치지 말자(Let's not) - Super Junior

이 순간이 마지막이라고
그토록 사랑한 그 대가에
넌 돌리려 해도 울며 매달려도
그냥 싫다며 헤어짐을 말한 나야.

난 항상 강한 척만 하지만
평생 너 하나 지킬 자신 없어 떠난
비겁한 남자야

다신 나 같은 사람 사랑하지 말고
다신 그리워할 사람 만들지 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서
하루도 못 버틸 만큼 사랑해주는 사람 만나 제발

넌 아파 날 잡으려 하지만
평생 내 곁엔 행복해질 자신 없는
비겁한 여자야

다신 나 같은 사람 사랑하지 말고
다신 그리워할 사람 만들지 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서
하루도 못 버틸 만큼 사랑해주는 사람 만나

언젠가 우리 헤어짐을 후회한대도
이별 밖에는 난 해줄게 없어

지난 시간을 세며 아파 울지 말고
지난 바보 같은 사랑 그리워 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서 하루도 못 버틸 만큼
사랑해 주는 사람 만나 제발 행복하기를
두 번 다시는 마주치지 말자

Saying that this moment is the last
To you whom i loved so much
Even if you try to turn it back
Even if you hold onto me crying
I was the one who said no and bid our farewell

I always act strong
But I'm a cowardly man
Didn't have the confidence to protect you forever and left

Don't love someone like me again
Don't make someone miss again
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day, please..

Hurting, you try to hold me back
But I'm a cowardly man
Who doesn't have confidence
to give a lifetime of happiness to a woman

Don't love someone like me again
Don't make someone miss again
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day

Even if we are ever to regret our breakup
I can't do anything but give you our farewell

Don't cry in pain counting the time that has passed.
Don't miss a foolish love that's already passed
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day, please I hope that you'll be happy.
Let's not ever meet again.

It's a very touching song which talks about a man giving up on this woman he loves because he believes she can find someone much better than him. I think it'd be suitable as a drama song...Probably can make me cry. Haha, but K.R.Y sang this song with so much emotions in it. It's really beautiful, and their vocals are just amazing. Nice ballad! XD

Okay, post getting too long. I'll update again soon.

Elison.

생각

Maybe I demand too much. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe. Maybe. Why would our friendship reach this stage? Perhaps our problem was never solved. We're merely going in circles. 

Yea, if you noticed, my blog is now white. 

Elison.

병든

Current track: 눈물이 흐른다- F.T. Island

Aye, thinking about Tuesday, I really want to laugh. Like how I had thoughts about walking into that place but ended up not doing so actually saved myself from an extremely awkward situation. I mean I won't know how to react if I actually walked in. I would probably be very overwhelmed by the situation and be affected. It pays to listen to the Holy Spirit I guess. I can't imagine what would have happened if I stuck to my thought of going to that place. 

Sometimes, I really think I handle situations badly. Or maybe I'm just like many others out there. When faced with something I don't want or don't know how to react to, I'd run away. Avoiding it seems to be the best solution. 나는 다치고 싶지 않다. We all want to be happy, don't we? Aigoo, but I know it's bad. Xuan and James will always tell me to talk about it. But I guess it requires a lot of courage to do it. Many times, I just can't garner enough courage to do so. I'm not coward,  it's just not easy. I need to be sure of myself, what I am feeling, whether I am in the wrong, whether it's just my solitary biased opinion, so on and so forth, before I can confirm my view about something. I'm not a reckless person. 

Not everything needs to be expressed in words. Actions tell a lot too. Feelings are more than 70% reliable. We must realise that God moves, and He speaks. The heart senses and can discern. No matter how hard you may try, to me, it's nothing but a facade.

미안해요, 미안.

Elison.

poladroid

Yea, poladriod is the current program that I am using on my mac. My brother introduced this to me. It makes polaroid pictures that are very realistic and the effects they create are simply gorgeous. It's like a fast way to edit your photos. Perfect for lazy bums like me! Hee. Oh by the way, this picture is Nickhun from 2pm. He's a singer under JYP but he's half a Thai and Chinese.  But he looks cute huh? ^^

Aye, this is bad. I should be studying my SAT more, but the past 4 days I haven't done anything! I had to run errands for my mum. I really never knew how far Serangoon was until today. Man. I took like more than 1.5h to get to Highland Centre from my house! Ahh, I hope my mummy won't give me this kind of jobs in the future. Really. =.=

Hmm, I need to be more courageous to step out! Lean on God. This week is a brand new beginning, a brand new future, a brand new life ahead! :) With God, all things are possible. ^^

Grace says i've been using ^^ lately. It must be my korean net pals. LOL, they all use ^^. tsk tsk tsk...

Elison.

Assuming..

Current Track: 사랑하지마요 - F.T 아일랜트

Ah, I just love the sound of Hongki's voice. It makes me want to sing along with him because the songs' emotions were just rightly expressed. 

I'm so random. I tried looking for ft's album at Sembawang Music and CD Rama today, but they were not in sight. =.= But I saw SHINee World at CD Rama! Awww. so tempting, despite it being the chinese version (with this I mean the words on the album. not the song). I lalala and sang all the way home. Actually I kinda enjoy doing it. Heh, so if some day you catch me on the ipod, don't be shock by my random nature.

Ah, time to address the title. Hmm, I had a phone call with xiaoLEE. After that conversation we had, it set me thinking again. Sometimes we tend to be so quick to judge, so quick to jump to conclusions about someone or something, just because what they do are contrary to what we believe or expect them too. Many a times, as humans, we tend to be so myopic, and we don't look at the big picture, the reasons behind the actions, but we only see the current action at the current time, ignoring the possible background situation. The Bible shows us that assumption is sin.  Barry mentioned before that sometimes we just have no idea what that person is going through. Now, I begin to understand what it really means. Even for myself, I do struggle in this area of my life. And it's an area that I think I really need to set my heart to change. Help me O Lord, to look beyond, and discern with the help of the Holy Spirit, so that I won't be critical and judgemental of others, and not hinder the works of Your Kingdom. 

Ah, I'm going to get back to the tons of ft island videos now. Kekeke. I'll be back to update again soon!

Elison.

clride.n

This is SHINee in Clride.n webpage. Ahh, my almighty Key-gun.

Anyway, I had been really busy this few weeks, last week I was caught up with university application, and this week there has been lots of work to be done. In addition, morning prayer meetings were on, so I didn't exactly had the time to use my computer at home. It's a pity that I can't blog of my apple though I really want to- I'm using the office labtop here. Hmm, 3 more hours to cell group meeting!

Updates? So far, only NTU has called me to go down for an interview on the 13th. Well, NTU School of Business. Okay, I've heard many told me it's a prestigious school. Yea, I guess I oughta be thankful to God for an opportunity like this, but I've never dreamed of studying business or accountancy. Medicine and Law have always been my ideal choices of education, but i guess...ahh..Whatever comes is what.

Sometimes, things often don't go the way we want them to. The Bible calls us to guard our hearts. As humans, this heart that God has given to us is vulnerable. It's as if it has a mind on its on. It thinks the way it wants to depsite conscious efforts by your brain to control it. If we are not careful and let everything in without caution, the consequences can be dire. We musn't forget that we cannot turn back time. James often says "If only, if only we always know what's the consequences, then there wouldn't be so many regrets already. " And it's true. If only we know that what is happening today would happen, maybe we would have used a different approach. We would have been more accountable. We would have been more careful. We would, we would...but for fact, we didn't. Even for myself, sometimes I find myself trapped in this "we would" and "if only" kind of situations. There are many things, we as carnal flesh, cannot see, but our spirits, with the help of the Holy Ghost can look beyond and unto God, who is all-knowing. Bible calls us to walk by faith, not by sight. Faith is trusting in God amidst of all that is happening around us, and flowing with the Holy Spirit, doing that of which gives us peace. I hope I won't live life to regret it, but every bit of it, I'm still learning how to make the fullest of life, for the His works.

Submission is never easy. Each one of us, regardless of gender, has ego. Some bigger than others. Many a time, our ego gets the better of us. I mean it's always easier to share your views and opinions with someone than for that someone to correct your views and opinions. We enjoy winning, we like being right. We all desire to feel smart and good about ourselves. That is why submission requires courage. The boldness to accept the fact that you might be wrong, the boldness to admit to your wrongs and start all over again, the courage to accept new ideas and methods. Many of us are egoistic, but not courageous. We report, not account. To submit is to to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others; to yield oneself to the power or authority of another and even to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision. 10 letters. 1 BIG WORD. I hope to be someone more submitted to authority as well.

This little brain of mine. It's often preoccupied with many thoughts. Is it because I'm a woman? I remember the conversations I hold with the people around me. Every now and then, the entire conversation will replay in my head, and I'd ponder over what was said, whether there could be a better response, a question that I could ask, or something like that.

Opportunities are rare to come by. Know what is right and flow with God. Cherish. Don't take for granted.

I'll be back to pen down my mountain of thoughts again soon.

Elison.