Christmas<3

If you ask me, what Christmas in 2007 and 2008 has been for me, I would only have a word, hectic. This year, I really wanted Christmas to be quickly over. As, Asia Conference and ministry came one after another, and I thought I really want to have a good break. When the last performance at Jurong West was over, I apparently found myself in tears. I wondered, why would I be crying? I mean, the ending of service meant rest for me! And besides I wasn't majorly involved in this production either. When I looked at my seniors, the rest of the ministry members, and my leaders, then I began to understand, what Christmas meant to me. That is, serving God with the rest of my ministry members, being busy together, but enjoying one another's presence...being "bullied" by adrian and the rest...the photo takings and silly lines and mistakes on stage. I can't remember what Christmas was like before. Time flies. It's been a year now. Till easter we meet...

I love dm.

Jonghyun's voice is amazing.



Elison.

한국어

안녕하세요!

I'm back blogging again. These few days have been super tiring as Christmas is approaching. Rehearsals are long and sometimes draggy, I am really looking forward to post-Christmas. 빨리,빨리,빨리!

Anyway, I have 2 korean friends now! :)) Like finally? They are Jung Seung Ho and Choi Boryung. Seung Ho lives in Daegu while Boryung lives in Seoul. Nice people. I realised Koreans are very polite people, in addressing one another, if formality plays a role, the language used is different.

I'm buying an organiser imported from Korea! And while shopping online, I saw so many pretty stickers, tapes and stamps from Korea! I want them all~ moo la moo la...아이구...

Okay, this is very much a random post. That's just all for now, I've got to go prepare to go for rehearsals already!

안녕!

love,
Elison.

quality challenged

Okay, so wondergirls are not exactly the people with the best vocals. Going with sex appeal and catchy tunes, they have made it to the top 10 achievers in korea in 2008. With the influence of john and jiani, wondergirls have made it into my head, with nobody and tell me on constant replay. Yes, this is a HORRIBLE experience. I really don't like them, but the song just irritatingly stays, like rainism. bleah. I mean really, i don't know how long they have to sustain coming up with this kind of upbeat and catchy songs to keep the audience happy.

And yes, SM has finally made the change to Mirotic. And the new lyrics are...stupid. It has moved from "under my skin" to "under my sky", "I got you" to "I choose you" and trust me, singing it alone sounds funny, and the new lyrics just doesn't fit the entire song. It's kinda pointless, i don't understand what's the big fuss. I mean, it's just a song. English songs have more explicit lyrics than that. *shrugs*

Sometimes it's tough to find a companion.

I hope my attachment thingy will be resolved soon. Or I'll have to start writing and sending out CVs. I hope rehearsals will end early today, and it'd be a success today, so that I can go for cgm on friday. I hope Saturday comes really quickly, I'm excited for korean class. I hope Christmas is here soon. I hope my fingers will stop hurting so badly so I can get back to playing the guitar.

James is a good guitarist, and a faithful guitar teacher. LOL, ystd was the first time I've seen James so serious in teaching me! Haha, I really learned a lot from him. Just got to pray, flow and practise, practise, practise!

This is very much a crap post. I just wanted to exercise my fingers with some typing. ahem.

Elison.

strawberries! <3

I think omma and I are telepathic. Haha, perhaps it's like what gracie said, that God is granting us the desires of our hearts. I was just telling vanessa yesterday when we were out, that the best Christmas present that she can give me that is inexpensive, would be korean strawberries. Haha, I saw it on an advertisement on the straits times. This thought i only kept to myself and van, but when I came home from svc yesterday and opened the fridge..TADA! haha, omma actually bought the strawberries! How amazing is that! Haha, God is so nice to me.

Hmm, so a question i think people will ask would be, "How are Korean strawberries different from say, Australian ones?" I made a little observation about the strawberries. They are of a brighter shade of red as compared to the usual strawberries, much smaller in size, sweeter, softer, and shockingly, HAIRLESS! Haha, I was kind of reminded about the hairless legs of the Korean artistes on Happy Together. But anyway, yep, Korean strawberries are definitely nicer to eat. The colour alone makes me happy!

Mianhamnida to kexin! I didn't want to ps you to face those ppl, but I'm really so lazy. Going out so many days in a week is more tiring than studying for A levels! I really want to take some time to stay home and rest, and do some relaxing things.

Gracie thinks that I should learn to say no. But saying no is hard. I don't like the aftermath feeling. But I don't like the aftermath when I say yes too. Urgh.

Whee. i'm excited for Christmas! haha, I hope rehearsals won't end too late today. The coming week will be great, apart from the fact that vanessa will be flying off. Guitar lessons, drawing lessons, mind cafe, drama...wheee~

Elison.

death

I actually wanted to blog about my new toe socks, but that somehow doesn't click with my thoughts right now.

Within 3 days, I received news of 2 deaths. The death of Chinling's grandmother and John's mother are too coincidental. Going for the funeral service yesterday and watching life transformers just set me thinking. Isn't death scary? How it leaves the living longing, how it grieves the living, all the psychological trauma it has on the people the dead leaves behind? When i heard amazing grace yesterday at the funeral, I thought of grandpa. He died when i was so young. I remembered that I didn't know what death meant at that time, and at the funeral, my younger cousins and I were still playing with plasticine and were ambivalent to his departure. It wasn't until the last day of the funeral when the adults were in tears that i realised he has gone to be with the Lord. and there, amazing grace was played to send him on his way. When I saw how chinling and her relatives cried at the loss of their loved one, i couldn't help but cry. The thought of losing a loved one is indeed scary. Yet it is comforting to know that they will go to be with the Lord. But what about those who have not known the Lord? we'll never get to see them again. Let this thought only serve as a motivation to evangelise. What we choose to do now has an eternal impact.

Don't cry my lover totally suits the emotion now.

<3

Elison.

Love bye love

hmm, she has decided to stick to her decision. So talking to me was just to inform me, not consulting me. But nonetheless, we don't always make the right decisions in life. The amazing thing is what God can do to map out a new way for our lives. So I'll be praying.

So, my ipod has been playing more korean songs than ever. Listening to the love songs, it kinda reminds me of what love really is, how nice it'd be to be in love. Don't get me wrong, i'm not in the mood to get attached. But like what John said, it's a future kind of thing. I know it'd be awesome when the time comes with the God-given man for my life. How exciting despite the years to it. Hahah, till then. errr, I think i'd stick to my korean songs, not boys. Haha, and channel my love elsewhere! i have more things to work on.

I think jiani went offline. Crap. I want to talk rubbish. LOL.

Off to do my 1000 mcqs.

Elison.

Purple line.

Purple line is super addictive.

And i think i'm getting very noisy lately.

I went cycling today cause I thought i need to work out from the deprivation of exercise due to all the mugging. My hasa bike wasn't helpful at all. I'm all too stiff! Urgh, I almost died from cycling up the hill. Okay, but at least from today i got some muscles back.

2 more days till it ends. 1 more day to Asia Conference.

i'm becoming more and more random.

RAWR.

Elison.

wheeee

Happy spiritual birthday to lovely! Congrats on your baptism! :)

I'm finally able to take some time off studying. Last paper left on thurs. Yes. finally it's ending. wahhahaha.

Banjun dramas are so nice to watch. Hahah, just going to relax today away before studying for mcq tml.

And gosh, ASIA CONFERENCE is coming! I'm so excited! :) It's time for a renewed consecration and wonderful encounters with God!

Hmm, I don't really know what to blog about actually. My com is kinda laggy these days. Somehow I prefer using linux to xp. The efficiency is undeniable.

Last night, i wanted to have an early night for the paper today. So i laid in bed. Each time I was about to drift into sleep, there would be the sound of bouncing marbles. It got pretty bad, I got up and was scolding Satan for trying to disrupt me from having enough rest. And when I finally got to sleep, I got out of bed today with a rumbling tummy that gave me the runs. urgh..

The new version of mirotic is out. There are new songs in it too. I really wonder why SM is so profit driven. Rawr, and Shinee doesn't sound like kids to me. Shinhwa, Dongwan, Minwoo, Jonghyun, Dong Bang Shin Ki, Yunho, Jaejoong, Micky, Junsu, Xman, Come to play, Dong an club, Yashimanman...AHHHH, Korea is love!~ <3

This is just an utterly random post. When freedom is just around the corner.

Elison.

wow

Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise and skillful person glory and boast in his wisdom and skill;
let not the mighty and powerful person glory and boast in his strength and power;
let not the person who is rich [in physical gratification and earthly wealth] glory and boast in his [temporal satisfactions and earthly] riches;

But let him who glories glory in this: that he understands and knows Me [personally and practically, directly discerning and recognizing My character], that I am the Lord,
Who practices loving-kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 (Amplified Bible)

4 more to go.

elison.

Updates!

Sorry lovely, i had been a really good girl, studying hard for the exams and staying away from the computer. But since there is no paper tomorrow, it's good to take this little bit of a time to relax and update everyone about how everything is going.

Hmm, A levels. It's not exactly that hard to begin with la, i kinda thought the papers will be much harder. But because of this I made some stupid careless mistakes, which I still believe nonetheless God will take care of the As. Within a week, half of all my papers have already been done! 6 more to go! aja aja fighting!

Erm, yes, I had been pretty worried about losing hair. But everyone in school has been telling my that my pony tail is still as bushy as ever. So when I decided to keep that thought off my mind, I really didn't think I'm losing a lot of hair. LOL, at least Nai and Sijia agrees. :D

Okay, so after paper today, mummy messaged me to ask me to settle my own lunch, so I went for lunch with Nai and Waileng they all at West Mall. We went to SOL mart cause I wanted to buy dukbokki materials. Haha, but it ended up with me not buying my pepper paste and rice cake cause I resolved that I have no time to figure out how to cook them in the midst of the exams. BUT! There are some other things that I got. I bought my FIRST issue of Junior! hahaha, yes yes, I can't read them now, all the words look more like drawings to me, but since Nai and I are going to learn Korean after the exams, which is 2 weeks from now, I thought I might as well get the magazine first, cause it's pretty hard to find Korean magazines around in Singapore, in comparison with Japanese ones. Another reason for buying the book is....

동방신기<3

and so there is..

윤호<33

And as if that wasn't enough of a heart attack for me, Nai was HYSTERICAL and got me all excited as there was another reason for the book...

신화<3

oh yea, and i don't know what Fahrenheit was doing inside Junior. How weird.

Haha, yes, chill chill a little here, Gotta hit back to the books real soon.

toodles.

Love,
Elison.

goodness!

I just realised I have the unglam-est photos on church website. rawr.

elison.

be careful

Thank you weishan for fetching me around today. But he made me wait for him for so long on his car when he went to his office...I was so bored, I took photos on his car.
My meiosis notes. Reading while breathing in carbon monoxide..*chokes*
Okay, this looks like i'm really bored.

Hmm, so after that we drove to ttsh. Goodness, weishan talks on the phone when he drives WITHOUT using a headset. It's so dangerous. and he drives so fast,i felt like i almost died. And I had to put up with his mushy calls with his dear-dear. LOL, lousy. somemore say i remind him of his sister.

So we got to the hospital. Almost got a shock when my dear was not on the bed.

Life is so fragile. My precious kexin isn't well. Seeing her in pain and agony makes my heart ache too. How fragile is life. How would we see things coming? If you're reading this my dear, I love you so much, will be continuously praying for you. You must be strong and get well soon...

We stayed with kexin for some time. Boy, I think she really wants to kick weishan. After that, cause weishan had been talking about novena chicken rice the whole morning, my new gor gor brought me to the store n treated me to chicken rice. WAHAHAHA...

And, because of him, I was late for dental. CRAP.

I think Satan has something against me. Things never seem to stop coming. He's getting a bit irritating. Talking to weishan puts me to thoughts, its a psychological perspective plus a tinge of spirituality. Take away from today: good to think a lot, but your thoughts must get you somewhere!

Okay, got to get back to studying.

elison.

BIG THANKS

I realised that blog readership rises when you post. I suppose it goes according to the frequency of updates.

Anyway, this past week has been, erm, indescribable... The encounters with God, the emotional struggles, everything seem to fall in place now when I begin to look back. Just can't help but proclaim how awesome God is. I've been thinking through about a lot of things, done a lot of reflection, condemned myself a lot, but nothing beats a touch from God to melt this heart and heal all hurts. I love Abba Father. Through this period, i think i've grown, mostly in my thoughts, and hopefully it'd help me grow in my maturity too.

A lot mugging this past few days, which explains why I haven't been blogging. Less than 40 days till it ends. TAKE IT AWAY!

Oh yea, i wanna thank some people.

Grace
BLOSSOM! thanks for staying by me during this period of time, encouraging me through it all. You made me think a lot too. Thanks for the chocolate mirror and choco baby! :) it's OFFICIAL, you shall be chocolate blossom! <3

James
Oppa, although your letter came a bit late, I wanna tell you how important it still means to me. You never fail to cheer me up and put a smile on my face, while through all the letters, teaching me, helping me to grow in faith and also as a person. You're another person who makes me think and reflect a lot, and I'm so glad to have an oppa like you that I can share my life with! haha, find thomas, let's go for the brainiest thing.

Meitong
dearest meitong, I guess there's no one else who can understand me better than you. Sometimes I guess I'm really too hard on myself. But thank you too, for being so willing to correct me, to teach me and guide me, and through it, sometimes it hurts from the breaking, but I really see myself growing, and i want to see myself changed. I'm so glad for a leader like you. I LOVE YOU! <3

Xuanie
I think I have the most to say to you! :) But i guess not here. besides I LOVE YOU MANY MANY TOO! <3 (hahah, me and broken english)

From failure comes character. That's when we all LEARN, then grow.

Got to get back to my books.

RAWR.

elison.

not until today

Having gone through SOTM, and being a Christian for 4 years, I guess I never really understood what brokenness meant, not until today.

So much grieving, so much tears.

"Before the Lord quickens a scripture to an individual, the Lord has many things to do. The Lord wants to cleanse your life and make you surrendered to Him."

It hurts, more than anything else, it hurts. But godly sorrow changes.

"As the Lord deals with you, take time to wait upon Him; confessing your sins, and surrendering your life to Him. When these conditions are met, then the power of God comes....When God deals with you, He always deals with you through the healing of your soul."

Take me apart piece by piece.

elison.

to desolation.

It's not Us. It's Them. It's the System. It's Pop Music. It's Violence on TV. It's George Bush. It's Lee Kuan Yew. It's all these Homophobic people. It's all these Homosexuals. It's all this Porn on the Internet. It's because People don't read anymore. It's because They Don't Understand Us. Whatever it is. it's never about ourselves first and foremost. Therein lies our problem. It should always be about Us and Our choices.
-Broader Perspective, Issue 4

Think, steph think. Harder. Pray, more. not enough, not enough.

Sometimes it seems so hard to go through moulding. There's breaking. There's praying. There's decision making. There's changing. We can't embrace tomorrow if we refuse change.

No matter how hard. I must...i must..

elison.

then again

I was just about to go and pray when this song came to my mind.

Jesus
Jesus
Holy and anointed One
Jesus
Your Name is like honey on my lips
Your Spirit like water to my soul
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet
Jesus I love You
I love You

Hmm, a wonderful name. A name that brought me through the darkest days of my life. Then again, it's not just a name. <3

I was talking to gracie the other day, and I thought about how I used to be much closer to some ppl, but now things have changed. Sad, maybe, but He's the same always. I wish we all don't change, but if we don't, life would become a constant. RAHH, the paradox of life.

elison.

those were the days...

<3 prelims. HAHA.

I was flipping through The New Paper when I came across the report on how self mutilation among youths is on the rise. The report included the testimony of this girl who would cut herself due to the stress of school, family and relationship. It reminded me of how I used to be like her. In depression, I would slit my wrist and cut myself on my arm, whenever I feel sad or lonely. I remember how I'd be crying while quickly and swiftly making multiple cuts on my arm. It'd bleed and hurt, but the pain is sufficient to temporary numb what I feel inside. And when the pain of the wound wears off and that of the heart overwhelms, the process begins all over again. At that point of time, when I'm fully conscious, I would wonder why I even do it, and the swollen cuts look utterly unsightly.

What a solution. Thank God for Him who saved me from all these unnecessary pain of slitting and crying. Thinking about the past, I feel foolish, for even taking that route. Physical pain can only numb the emotional pain, but not take it away. And more often than not, it makes things worse than before. It's great to be out of depression, I don't know who I'd be if I hadn't met God. WOW. Timing.

To whoever who may want to embark on self mutilation as a solution: it is stupid, don't begin. To solve a problem, you need to get to the root of it.

5 days without school! More mugging. A month to the big day. Gonna meet blossom tml! LOVES!

elison.

the way you are

I went out for dinner with lovely last night, we shopped around and updated each other about our lives and ministry. We had dinner at this very very KAWAII restaurant at Far East called kitchen mogu mogu. I bet many of us have walked by this restaurant but have never been there. Actually the food prices are rather reasonable and their food is 10 times better than yoshinoya and kobayashi. At least the chawamushi doesn't stink like that from sakae, and the miso soup is not made from instant powder. A plus for that?

Rahhh, I'm early today. we just love thursdays and fridays. time really FLIES.

LOVELY <3

elison.

HELP

*GASPING FOR OXYGEN!*

I see myself as someone who is rather eloquent, often being able to talk my way through. But sometimes, my face just gives me away. I wish I'm a Flavor Savr Tomato, so I won't "ripen" or blush so readily in situations. Laughing makes me blush, being shy makes me laugh. I wish my emotions aren't so openly written on my face, so that it doesn't place me in a more embarrassing position.

It's been 4 years since I last saw you. I thought I'd never meet you again, at least not anytime soon, considering that for the past 1 and 3/4 years of traveling on 67 hadn't allowed me to do so. But today...

Elison.

sleepyhead

Froggy pouch! Just bought it today, using it to store my makeup stuff. Cute eh? It cost me a friggin' 19 bucks. *burns* It will ALWAYS remind me of Jieying. HAHA

I'm so tired. I want to go to bed already, My eyelids can barely open. RAWR, all thanks to school and late nights from studying.

NUS FACULTY OF LAW/ YONG LOO LIN SCHOOL OF MEDICINE. Just you wait!

CAMBRIDGE! give me my As! I demand.

No looking back, only forward, and unto God. CHIONG LAH!

NJC chemistry department was totally out of their minds making us come to school for MCQ test at 720 in the morning when it's THURSDAY. Waking up early can kill. We ought to find some statistics or research to substantiate that. So as to proof that our point isn't the least fallacious.

Sijia, Jie and I went out today on a present hunt. My wallet has this rather BIG hole now, cause I've burned my POSB card. Haha, MONDAY = MONey + DAY. Haha, I was amusing myself, Jie and Sijia the whole of today. Tiredness runs adrenaline in me. YAWN! Oh yea, and jieying's weird idea of buying pearls from the Bubble Tea Stall uncle but not the drink made Sijia, Jas and I laugh like CRAZY. Haha, she's weird, but i love her nonetheless.

MORE MUGGING AHEAD. I think you can read from this post that I'm in a GREAT mood and am very excited. HAHA, i don't know why either. :) It must be after the phonecall with Meitong. AHHH, and Charles and Keith is having SALES. I NEED heels, okay not exactly, given my height. RAWR, but still...Shoes and bags are things that girls will never say "enough".

I'm so happy, meeting joash for lunch tml, and lovely for breakfast on sat. :)

I'm getting into the korean craze. DBSK rocks and Shinhwa rules.

OH YES, and I think Huang Qiming from the 7pm show on Channel 8 is handsome. LOL, he's the one acting as Apple Hong's husband, Zhuang Jiawei.

RANDOM.

annyong- hi kye seyo
elison.

<3

신화

I met oppa and eeden at city hall today. Oppa called when I was at school, like out of the blue, and so I dragged him and eeden to go with me to funan to get the silicon cover for my labby. :) It was fun hanging out with them, though we did nothing much but walked around aimlessly while oppa kept me and eeden highly entertained as usual. HAHA, was conversing with oppa with the little korean that I know, but was fun. Rah, I'm new to this.

I've got the song stuck in my head.

It's time to be a chiongster, 7 weeks till it begins, 10 till it ends. PERSEVERE my friends.

I was just thinking about a lot of random stuffs. Maybe what oppa says is right, sometimes when things get too complicated, it's time to go back to simplicity. Sometimes I do wonder why He would create us with such intellect. An it's contradictory when intellect is supposed to help us, yet it often causes us more problems than over. But nonetheless, I prefer intellect/wisdom to beauty. Beauty is never everlasting, wisdom is.

As humans, we often stumble, make the wrong decisions, and tend to do things to satisfy our fleshly desires and forget that life is an exchange. Sometimes, we go a big round and end up back at square one because we do not understand or choose to surrender the are of weakness in our lives. Some as a result sacrifice their walk with God. We should never let this happen, but it often does. Pathetic? perhaps.

A daughter is more than a servant. Change me, O Lord.

annyong- hi kye seyo
elison.

heehee

Whee, this is a cheeky photo. LOL, no worries, i'm NOT poking my nostrils, was just trying to figure the glam-est way to giggle without snapping my rubberband. HAHA.

Hmm, service was stupendous. While Pastor preached about sonship and being faithful in our finances, I really felt very challenged by the Holy Spirit to be a daughter of Christ, and not just a servant. Sometimes it is so easy to serve even if we bear the wrong attitude, but a son/daughter serves beyond responsibilities and bears the visions of the leader. We musn't be building our own kingdom, it is all about God, bearing the DNA of the church and of the leadership. Not our will, but His be done.

As I thought about the City Harvest DNA, the characteristics that came to my mind were:
1. Loves God wholeheartedly and people fervently.
2. Spiritual excellence
3. Fashionable
4. Charismatic
5. Servanthood
6. Willingness to be discipled
7. Availability
8. Ministry
9. Love for Praise and Worship
10. Cell Groups
11. Waiting on the presence of God.
12. Cultural Mandate.
13. Creative
14. Bold

Well, just some which i can think of at hand. I'm so glad to be a City Harvester, and beyond that, a CHILD of God.

NOTHING is worth more than God and what He can give. Never, never shortchange yourself.

elison.

a day out with the girls

Whee, prelims are over, and there's time for a little relaxation! Haha, was supposed to meet lovely. But I went out with the girls to sentosa. Haha, although we didn't do much, the company was good. Playing vollleyball, Pepsi Cola 123, and touch rugby. Jie and I were having fun building sandcastles as well. Haha, the sad thing is although I put a lot of suntan lotion, I DIDN'T get any darker! urgh. unlike sijia, who looked chao da. LOL.

Meeting yt tml to go shopping.

Sometimes I know I'm just a lifebuoy, but i want to be a good friend even if you guys are not.

elison.

Noisy kids

Currently mugging my day away at teck whye macdonalds, only to realise that the peacefulness of the fast food restaurant is destroyed by youths ranting at the top of their voices.

The thing is, i'm not discriminating against neighbourhood school students, but at least for this bunch of people that have been here today, have shown that they have failed the years of education. Even if mainstream education hasn't taught us not to eat and talk at the same time, at least we ought to know how to carry ourselves in public, and not act rowdy, and talk at the top of our voices as if it's our own home. I know the direct counter argument, that macdonalds is not library, you can't expect it to be quiet. Yes, this i definitely understand, but they are so loud that even blasting my ipod cannot cancel out the noise ard me. Think about the number of decibels they must contribute.

URGH...noise is DISRUPTIVE.

elison.

all things new

Whee, I'm blogging off my new Acer Aspire One. Don't ask me why I got this labtop instead of the Asus one which i had initially wanted. But anyway, this baby is a true beauty. Small, compact, light, but has almost all that I need to get by, and the best thing is really being able to be carried about with much ease.

Anyway, today's biology paper was pretty okay. I think I really like biology applications syllabus. Gonna chiong for chemistry, I don't like organic siol. urgh..

2 more to go!

elison.

friend

what is a "friend"?

Is it true that when you're a friend to others, they'll be friends to you? How come I don't seem to sense it?

Oh God, reaffirm me.
Who but you?

and of course lovely, you're impossible to find.

elison.

then some you don't want.

ever felt you were lost for words? like this picture, all the alphabets are laid out, jumbled up, but you have no idea how to arrange them.

elison.

realise

that was when I realised,

it's not just charisma, but love for God.
it's not just confidence, but faith in God.
it's not just eloquence, but flowing with God.
it's not just praying, but connecting with God.
it's not just perceptions, but hearing from God.
it's not just actions, but serving God.

I thought I'd want to talk a little about the dream that I had today. Here's the details.

I saw myself having dinner with my family in the kitchen and at the corner of my eyes, a shadow went pass. I knew it was from darkness, so I muttered a prayer under my breath that it'd go away. So i felt peace and dinner went on as per normal. And when I was about to start eating, I saw Satan, in a cape. peering into the kitchen from outside the kitchen door. He was black and his skin was dry, his eyes were big. I stood up and started binding Satan and commanding him to leave because he has no place in this house and that Jesus has already won the victory. He moaned and looked tormented. So I continued binding him and prayed in tongues so that he would leave. Then (i dono when they were all in my house) my neighbours and i believe the rest to be their church friends, stood up and prayed with me in the Spirit. So we prayed louder, and the louder and stronger we went, the more tormented he looked. He went around touching the palms of people and those whose palms he touched lost connection with the Spirit and could no longer fight against him. I kept my palms close so he could not get to me while i continued praying. Then i awoke.

If there was to be a reason behind this dream, I could only say that God wants me to stay connected. That's the only way to defeat the enemy, cause if we succumb to the devil, he can get a foothold in our lives, and we lose it, no longer able to be equipped against him. What a dream.

elison.

filled to be emptied again.

This vision is for a future time.
It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,
for it will surely take place.
It will not be delayed.
Habakkuk 2:3

elison.

sacrifice

why are people selfish?
why do we always expect people to sacrifice for us, yet we are full of unwillingness to make that little sacrifice for others?
Even if it means travelling.
Even if it means it takes up time.
Some are still willing, others can't even be bothered.
Excuses is the word.
We all are busy with our own agendas to accomplish what.
But some just are more concerned about their own than to spare a thought for others.

elison.

your love is a lie

Their eyes locked.
They made connection.
From that moment, love blossomed.
To her, it felt like a fairytale.
Perfect.
He was a great guy.
She thought of the futures they could have together.
Probably get married 6 to 7 years down the road.
Give birth to a few kids and have a beautiful home.
He came and became to integral to her life.
Everyday it was orientated about this man.
Every moment that they share, to her, it was worth remembering.
She gave the best that she could to this relationship.
For nine months, it all went well.
Just when she thought forever,
It marked the end.
He had come and become her oxygen
From a nobody, to an essential.
now he left and stripped her of what she needed.
What is going to become of her?
Yes, we can live without one another.
But the pain and turmoil kills her.
She wished that this was all a joke,
maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow he'd return and say he loves her.
Yesterday he said it was for her own good.
Today he asked her to move on without him.
his love was just a lie.

but hey, God's love is not a lie.
BE STRONG my girl.

elison. (:

seriously

Fire burns, but one day it'd eventually die down.

That is only when we don't continue to give it fuel, and fan it to make sure the flames continue to burn.

19072008. It's a brand new beginning with God, the beginning of more adventures. Yes, I've seen people who have thrown in the towel even after coming this far and receiving the power to break sin in their lives, I've seen people who decided that this God wasn't worth them giving up their all for. But guess what? I don't really care.

I don't really care if people say that I'm wasting my time. I don't really care if people may feel that all that i'm chasing after is "just for the moment". I don't really care if they are not willing to submit to authority and leadership. I don't really care if they have resolved that they can plan for the future better than God can. I don't really care about what other people have chosen and haven't regretted.

Because I've chosen, and I've never regretted, never regretted feeling His presence, His touch, and hearing His voice. I've never regretted coming this far with God because I know each moment that I live, He's with me. He's never given up on me. Yes, I love drama, I love cell group, I love City Harvest. But most of all, I love God for He gave all these to me. I can't imagine where I'd be if I hadn't met Him 4 years ago. I can't imagine what I'd become if I had decided to throw in the towel. I never want to know.

God, continue to stir the flames alive within me. Holy Spirit, fill me with your oil so that I can continue to burn without dying out. I want and I need You for the rest of my life.

Stephie.

goodness

Gosh, have I made everyone worried? Chill, I'm great! Not emotional or any of that sort, just that I'm trying to use this little brain of mine for BIG thoughts. (:

Is this the beginning of a new friendship? Pastor says disappointed people cluster together, but we are not disappointed, strong women also cluster together! I just want to help to see her through...

off to study, I'm really tired.

elison.

fragility

Something began to reaffirm me about the fragility of friendship. Like how speciation occurs in the theory of evolution, geographical isolation can also cause people to draw away from each other, doesn't matter how close these people were or how enjoyable were the times they had together. Meitong told me before that friendships in lives have phases... not all are meant to to last forever, when the phase ends, the friendship ends. So, "friends forever" is essentially a lie. It's sad but that's just reality. I mean how many times have we said that when we were kids, and where are those people whom we've said these words to now? 9 out of 10 of them would no longer be part of our lives by now. I thought he meant the world to you, but now? What then is eternal? What then is everlasting? I guess the best idea in my head right now would be really to cherish the people around me in my life. Sometimes an sms to tell my girlfriends that I love them matters, sometimes a card or a simple act can tell them that they matter to you. Friendships are not dependent on the quantity of them spent, but really the quality.

there are some things in life that grieves me. I need God to lift me up.

elison.

the seemingly endless horizon

Hmm, so i guess within each one of us, God has placed within us the desire for productivity, and with that, the longing for maturity. Maturity can come through many ways, some through trials and tribulations, some through encounters with God, but nonetheless, they are all through the Holy Spirit.

Not all of us have to go through heartaches to grow in maturity in God, but sadly, some of us just have to. The feeling? Horrendous, i must say. It seems like all the lactic acid is building up to the max in our muscles and at any moment, giving up seems to be the more logical thing to do than to hang on and let your muscles feel strained and fatigue. That's why some choose to throw in the towel and leave, away, away from Him forever. While others choose not to darken their spiritual eyes and vision but with the light of God, see the possible future of themselves happy and moved on to do greater things for God. Being in love feels great, having someone to spend your time with, to depend and lean on, to share your life with. Yet when we fall out of love, many of us wished we've never been in love. Like what meitong mentioned yesterday, this wouldn't even have happened if we had guarded our hearts in the first place. hmm, wrong timing wrong person i guess. I was too young both in age and in the spirit to rationally consider the consequences. I guess it's the same for her as well. The point to note here is not the mistakes we've made, but the aftermath of them, that is, growing in greater dependency on the Holy Spirit and be more sensitive to Him. That is how maturity will begin to develop. On the lighter note, with less burdens, we've got more time to serve God and greater freedom to the various things in life. What more could we ask? With that, everything else can wait. Men can wait.

For each and every one of us, we want to have friends, we want to be loved. But this desire cannot be satisfied at the expense of our dignity and moral values. As Christians, we've got to be firm in what the Word of God says, the Bible is the standard that our lives should be matched to. How we know if we've been a good servant or disciple, is when we check our lives against the Word of God. Never, ever, compromise your moral values or the standards of God according to the beliefs of man just so that you can enjoy the pleasures of sinful fellowships. In all that we do and the circumstances we face, we need to ask ourselves how would Jesus react or what would He do if He was in the same situation as us. Always be open to the Holy Spirit about the relationships that we have in our lives, so that we do not make ungodly friendships.

The life to maturity is never easy. There will be trials and testings. The Bible says that "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4). So the word is to ENDURE. Always remember that pain is temporal, but the joy of the Lord is eternal.

In closing,

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,
1 Peter 1:6-7

Stephie.

kermit is at it!

Hmm, so kermit has officially won my heart with his rainbow connection song. It's replaying in my heart, along with nine in the afternoon and lie about us. I guess we all still possess the remnants of a child in us, hiding deep inside. I'm 18, but when I'm not serious, i often feel like i'm 14. Not that I'm childish, but it's just that I crack those super lame and funny jokes that sets jiani sijia shihui and jie laughing like mad.

Talking with sijia set me thinking. Why is it that we could all realise the problem with some people, yet to themselves, what they are doing is perfectly fine? But God let me not be critical or judgemental, but help to accept them yet not approve of what they do.

Today hasn't been exactly great. I just got home from school, and I counted the total number of times I've been to the toilet since I woke up this morning. FOUR. It was my favourite number, note the word is was. I hope it ends there so it won't ever get to my index number or my legs will soon become jelly. We also got back our result slips today. It's a DUDED. Hmm, apparently for economics and math were better than I expected. I've gotta start working harder already. by prelims must be AABBC. The purpose of being a student...

Coming to studies, I guess I've got t end it all here and accomplish all the work for today. There's still chemistry test tomorrow to be studied for!

toodles.

stephie.

hmm

Sometimes life is a merry go round, a vicious cycle that on our conscious effort, we try to get out of.

God is a faithful God, I'm finally getting my water baptism. It'd be 12 days before my spiritual birthday. So cool, I came to know God in July, and I'm getting water baptised in July as well. Haha. :D

I think I'm really loving fasting. It helps to bring prayers to pass. Fasting is the lifestyle of a disciple. Turn to fasting when you don't know what to do and you want the Holy Spirit to lead you, turn to fasting when praying alone doesn't seem to help.

Van is having bbq later. I've got to go and help her soon.

elison.

close to perfection

Today is a day close to perfection.

In school, though lessons were boring as usual, but I had a great talk with jie. She shared with me many things about church and God, and I felt grieved in my spirit, about how she was brought up in a way to reject the Holy Spirit. How I wished she could know God the way I knew Him to be, I know it's not easy for her, having to stand up against her parents and elders because of what she believed in, and being brought up knowing a tinted version of the Bible and God. Thank God that i could minister to her because all the answers to the questions she had were in GOHS. It's not just about having head knowledge, but it's really applying the Word of God into lives that make a difference. It is absolutely important to get equipped with the Word of God so you can be more effective for God.

Anyway, after economics lecture today, I took the same bus home with nicko. Whee, he says that i look like i lost more than 6kg already. Whaha, thanks to the resounding voice of John in my head that reminds me not to eat so much and gain back the 6kg that I painstakingly lost. That hindered me from eating too much and abstain from fattening food. So we were talking about church and all then he told me that he realised that everytime he talks to me, he feels that his faith rises to a new level. And I felt happy, not because it's about ME, but it's more like I felt the Holy Spirit using me to minister to others. I was telling kexin that I recently have this urge to minister to people, to teach and help them to grow more in the Lord. If i could make a difference in their lives, I choose to do so. She told me I've grown, and I really think that those 21 days have not been to waste, but it caused me to feel more empowered to serve.

Not by power, not by might, but by My Spirit...

Stephiephoe.

men.

I've decided I musn't allow my wrath to get the better of me. But sometimes, you just can't help but feel so provoked you know.

Yesterday Pastor taught us about men and their purpose. And he mentioned that after the fall of adam. all these purposes became corrupted.

I kinda feel it's so true, men are absolutely poor in communication. They don't understand things, they don't clarify, they don't think before they say, they don't apologise. And most of the time, they just think that they are right. Even if they aren't, their ego gets the better of them. This is what i feel at least, generically speaking, not applicable to ALL men, just so to be fair to the minority.

Sometimes i just find it amusing how some people can blame everything and everyone else for the things in their lives and not evaluate themselves. WOW. It's amazing what love can do and selfishness can destroy. In God there is no I. There is only 1 way, the Jesus' way.

Enough of my sarcasm, I have a lot of thoughts flying through my head. There are many things that I want to do, and I feel prompted to do. I just pray that I'll be faithful to follow through, and not gradually over time, forget about everything that I had started on. Help me O Lord.

Stephiephoe.

elison is nice, from the word Elijah, which means Jehovah is God.
eliora is nice too, it means God is light.

wah, so hard to decide. the more names i find, the harder it becomes.

Stephiephoe.

tagged.

LOL, i realised rita tagged me to do this. I thought I'd be nice to do it! (:

1.who are you chatting with now?
van
2.what do you want the most now?
haha, eat dinner.
3.what i did at 6pm?
it's not 6pm yet. But i'm watching tv!
4.Do you hate your friends sometimes?
haha.
5.when do you wish to die?
not so soon. only until I've finished running the race
6.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain?
absolutely.
7.What impossible things you would wish to do?
with God all things are possible.
8.What is your greatest phobia?
all fears are cast out in Jesus' name!
9.Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
gee, i don't know.
10.What if your crush asked you out?
who cares.
11.When is the last time you fell in love?
everyday! i'm falling in love with God each day. (:
12.What feeling you hate most?
LOL, for people to NOT reply sms or pick up calls.
13.Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
not exactly. i guess some things are taken for granted for. oops.
14.What are you looking forward to in this coming weeks?
baptism! and for pastor mike connell to come. of course for cgm tml!
15.Who do you hope to be always there for you?
no one is always there. there's only God.
16.List words that describe you.
deep
17.Who do you love most?beside God and family.
haha, my boyboy, family, and close friends.
18.When do you plan to settle down?
when i'm 28 or so.
19.What is your greatest secret?
gee, i don't know.
20.Tagged people.
anyone who wants to do this, LOL.

Was in school today when my friends were helping me think of a baptism name. I was high after lunch, so was coming up with really stupid names. like erm stephanie escar goh (escargots), stephanie sandie goh (san diego), stephanie ahgo goh (agogo), stephanie man goh (mango), stephanie bing goh (bingo), etc. LOL, i liked justina and elison! haha, I want to get baptised! (:

okie dokes, gotta go and do my transition elements tutorial already. bleahh, mug mug mug, shining for God!

Stephiephoe.

"i heart"

whee!~ this is nick's attempt to be part of the "i heart" revolution. cool huh? I love this ministry so much.

but anyway, today i was standing at dhoby ghaut mrt and staring at the missing persons advertisement.I suddenly saw in my spirit, that in heaven, God also has this super huge wall full of posters of the people that He had created. It contained all the information about every single one of us in great details. On some posters, there were stickers that says "FOUND" in bold, these are those who have a personal relationship with God. On these posters, there were details of their encounters with Him. Some have no stickers on them at all, they are the lost. There were also others with the remnants of the "FOUND" sticker after it was torn off, and there was an additional line written there "last seen at (place) at (time)". The point here being, if you are lost, God wants to meet you, if you were once His child, all the more He wants you to come home to Him! What a heavy responsibility we have to bring these people into the house of God. How sad God must be to tear off the sticker and write down when was the last time He met you. God is amazing ain't He? (:

My tooth is hurting like crazy. XC braces braces, i want nice teeth SOON. FAST.

Stephiephoe.

pms!

i hate it when people don't reply sms, i hate it when people promise to call and they don't, i hate it when i want to get something but yet ending up i can't get it.

PMS-ing.

Stephie.

sigh

I'm in a i-don't-know-what-i-am-feeling-and-why kind of mood.
Lord, guard my heart i pray.
sigh.
a hug would be great.

Stephie.

photos

just done some editing. (: i think i have some talent. HAHA.

Stephiephoe.

blue-blacks ):

left calf.

right calf.

bleah, 10 blue-blacks on my calves, 5 on each. The result of backstaging during fathers' day. If i could, i'd just stick to acting. The job is much easier.

check out the cg blog for today's wonderful pictures! I love n284.

Stephiephoe.

wheee!~

hmm, I realised i don't have a nice photo with kexin dear. it's okay, i'll upload my pretty face! haha, hope that shepherd's pie will perk you up my lovely! I can't wait for waraku next week. teehee...haha, john say i look slimmer in this photo leh, whahah, it's raw, uncensored and unedited. I guess fasting has done my body some good!

anyway, vanessa asked me why i am so happy. gee, i don't know, haha, i just feel happy smiling, and i feel pretty smiling! I think i look better when i smile than when i emo sia. teehee. it's good to be happy, when you have confidence that exudes from within, it automatically makes you happier. it's more like having an identity in God that no one or words can change your mind! that's faith. (: I think losing weight also made me feel better about myself, that is, discounting the stretch marks. LOL.

teehee, i wanna get my tuition pay soon la, GSS i need moola for shopping! okay, i've got to run, tml have to wake up early for prayer meeting! tatas.

Stephiephoe.
I am in a i'm-so-happy-that-i-want-to-smile-at-everyone kind of mood.

i heart dm

sorry kexin, I couldn't help but kope this picture cause this is exactly what I feel now.

thanks to bosses sandy and jaslyn, nelson, lucas, adrian, nick, vincent, alan, veroy, calvin, bernard, veron, karen, maxey, kate, eunice, joy, ros, zhifang, eshan, matthew, eliz, ben for making this drama a success, especially to sandy for being strict but at the same time encouraging to me, to the girls for the great company you've been, to nick and vincent for lending me your arms as stress relief pads. thanks to simin and team for making us all gorgeous and hunky, thanks to the sound ministry for helping us to be able to relate properly to our audience, especially to richard, for being so entertaining and aiding to my balding problem by causing me much hair loss within these few days. thanks to kexin for being so encouraging to me especially when i needed you the most! I love you darling! thanks to pastor sidney for the encouragement and for being so welcoming, to wenling and yilun for the jiayous. thanks to the Most High for the anointing and capacity to contain the crowd, strength to make it through the exhaustive rehearsals. thanks also to papa for fetching me to expo early in the morning so i can save up on cab fare. haha..

whee, fathers' day production has finally ended. I think i'm going to have post-production syndrome again. wail~

oh ya, today morning while i was miking up, i heard a meow. some other ministry members heard it too so they went underneath the expo stage to catch the cat. couldn't imagine what would have happened if we hadn't realised it. probably the cat would run out during praise and worship into the congregation, or stroll across on stage when pastor kong is preaching. haha..

Stephiephoe.

gee.

gee, i'm home early today, actually was planning to turn in early since call time is 730 at expo tomorrow. But I guess I wanted to jot down some things first.

Today on the way to pasir ris to meet the zone ppl for the showdown, I met this couple on the train that set me thinking. Okay, i presume they are a couple luh, since they were wearing a pair of rings and the same design of watch. The thing was that if you didn't observe them close enough, you wouldn't think that they are seeing each other. From Jurong East to Tanah Merah, they didn't say a word at all to each other. When the train was about at Paya Lebar, the guy actually went to sit down without telling the girl, so at the next stop, she went to the next cabin and sat there. Even when they alighted at tanah merah and boarded the train to changi airport, they didn't sit together despite the train being rather empty. Okay I'm not kaypoh okay, just that I like to observe people and their actions a lot, that's why. Yea, back to the couple. Actually both of them look quite young, 14-15 year olds I guess. They set me into thinking why they even bother to be in a relationship. I mean what kind of couple goes out, wears the ring, couple watch, but does not talk, does not care for each other at all? Even if they quarrelled, why wasn't the boy even bothered with humoring and pacifying his girlfriend? Is there a point in this? I mean, gosh, the girl is so young, if things don't work out, she can always let it go and wait till the right one comes when she gets older, why would she want to wear the ring on her ringman, and perhaps stay committed to this guy that she may no longer feel the love and passion for? And if one day they actually break up, lead their own separate lives, meet the man and woman of their lives, would there actually be the joy of having their husband/wife to place the wedding band on their ringman, because afterall it's not the first time they are wearing a ring of commitment there anymore. Hmm, as teenagers, sometimes we just think that people try to interfere too much into our lives, we don't want to let people in because we think that what we do is best for our lives, and we don't need others to tell us what to do. Yet many a times we forget that people can sometimes give us good advices which wouldn't lead our lives to destruction unlike what we often do. I've learned much along my life, and sometimes I wished I had been wiser as a youth. But nonetheless, there is no need for regrets, because everything is still under God's control. He knew I was to stumble there in my life, so the greatest comfort is to have my Lord and Saviour to be so faithful and understanding, that in the midst of all these, He still loves me. :) So I guess life only happens once, though we may not get it right all times, but the more important thing is that we try.

Enough of my deep train of thoughts, i have 4 and 1/2 hours more before waking up. Gosh, tml is father's day svc already. WHEW!~ I can't wait for sunday to end.

For Your glory, for Your honour.

Stephiephoe.

wheee!

Today is a "wheee!~" kind of day. Haha..I got my eyemasks and my cookie monster tee shirt! teehee, my shirt is so cute leh! but it's a bit short sia. Oh well, nonetheless, cute! :)

Anyway, today's rehearsal ended early, so I could be back here to rest! Wee lee was so nice, he sent me all the way home when he lives in jurong. Thanks to him, I can be home this early! whee, today is a good but tiring day. I shall spend the time to study tml morning before gg out in the afternoon and for rehearsals at night. Thank God tml's rehearsal is at JW. tee hee...

Currently waiting for my 4 lens camera to arrive! I'm way too excited.

SORE THROAT!

Awaiting for a new day to serve the Lord!

Stephiephoe.

mirror mirror..

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done and He rested on the seventh day from all His work that He has done.

God rested, so must we. Today I met up with Kexin for lunch at Lot One, and we rejoiced in each others' opportunity to take a good rest after a long week. She began to share with me how Pastor Meng also shared with them the importance of a good rest in SOT. Come to think of it, sometimes we really make ourselves very busy, hardly having enough time to do the things we need to do, let alone those that we want to do. At the end of each day, we end up drained and exhausted, and ask God why is it that we have so many things to do.

I remember reading in the book Boundaries (I bought from attributes) that many times in life, Christians struggle through, having so much to do, continually taking on more duties and eventually burn out. Made in the image of God, we are created to take responsibility for certain tasks. Part of this responsibility is knowing what is our job and what isn't, what we should be doing and what we shouldn't. The author mentioned that any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries. Hence, it is important for us as Christians to learn to say "No" and set biblical boundaries in our lives. That is when we can truly become effective in our ministry cause we do not waste time in futile pursuits, but what God has really destined us to do.

After talking to Desmond and Peixuan, I really think that I am a rather free person. Haha, I'm not sure if that is good or bad, but I do have a lot of time for myself each day of my life to reflect, and to make plans, to think and to analyse. Of course there are times when I am really busy, but most of the time I am able to make time. I guess time management is also a key. Apart from studying, I've learned to set aside time for play and for serving God, and I guess this helped me from burning out. I never want to be too busy for someone else in my life. I want to be able to be available when people need me. Maybe that explains things a little.

This first week of the 21days of prayer and fasting has been just great. I am totally in awe over the move of God in my life and the things He had spoken to me through others, and He caused me to realise that I need to slow down, and take a look at how good He has been to me in my life, ever since I have chosen Him over all the other things in my life. He had placed so many opportunities in my life to serve Him and others and I haven't took time to be realise it and be thankful to Him. The chances that I get, many people yearn to get them, and i forgot to realise how blessed I was. It's so important to look to the Blesser, and be thankful for the blessings, and not be focused on the blessings He gave. With all the word of wisdom,word of knowledge and prophesies spoken to me this entire week, I really feel that God is so so so faithful and all knowing. There is no one comparable to Him and what He has done for me in my life.

I must learn to be thankful, not regretful.

Stephiephoe.

day number four.

Today was an awesome day filled with many spiritual encounters with God.

But above all, I want to thank God that just into 3 days of praying that my parents will not have to relocate their shop elsewhere, it really happened! The owner agreed to allow my parents to keep a part of their shop and pay lower rent! Wheee, God is good, I never actually expected it, but it did happened. XD

I think God is really cool, like He knows everything, and He has total control of whom, how and when He wants to reveal to us this nature of His and allow that person to minister to us. I really do hope that one day I can move in the gifts of the Holy Spirit so powerfully too, so much so that people I minister to can have their lives changed and love God even more. I mean, it's such a joy to see people's lives touched when you begin to exercise the gifts of the Holy Spirit. As much as i love to be ministered to, I want to minister others as well and be a blessing to them, just like how someone else had blessed me.

Darren is really a great BS teacher. Though practicals are scary, but they are really helpful to allow us to get to exercise these gifts, and he also teaches us how these gifts will be very important when we become leaders. I've never absorbed that much from a bible study before seriously. I pray that God heals his fingers soon.

Whee, I'm enjoying these few days of spiritual journey and I've never experienced God this real in my life before(perhaps last time I never took time to notice). The end shall be better than it's beginning, I'm excited( it's alrd that good when it's only day 4. think about day 21. WOW). All the fasting and praying will pay off eventually, I want to know God more, walk closer with Him, and be used by Him in a greater way than ever before, always being kingdom-minded and kingdom-motivated.

I love You.

Stephiephoe.

the ultimate evilness

omgosh, i think the internet is evil. When I stay at home and have free time to be on the computer, the internet has to bombard me with so many things. Last night, I spent the time helping john to find online sprees for men while I was looking for pretty clothes. Today, I spent the day looking for cameras! Gosh, I think I need to fast from electronics soon. ABSTAIN!

I want this, fisheye camera! The effect is really cool. like this.

Or, i totally wouldn't mind owning a holga. Which I can purchase the fisheye lens afterward.

The disadvantage of these cameras it's that they run on FILM. and I deduce that after spending a hundred bucks on the camera itself. it'd cost me a bomb to develop the photos. gee, I think I should start considering buying an SLR instead, at least it's digital. SNORT.

I bought eyemasks online. It's DARN cheap. Like 60 cents each! Uber cool, and the eyemasks were recommended on some taiwan show before. Wahahaha.

Going for ministry later!

Stephiephoe.

cameras!

oh gosh, japanese are real cool.

http://www.superheadz.com/headzshop/camera/

they have all the gorgeous cameras! urgh, i wish i understood japanese. I ordered my 4 lens lomo alrd. Hurray! teehee. i can't wait!

this is really cool too.

stephiephoe.

faith

western wall, jerusalem

He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.
Matthew 17:20-21(Amp)

Faith is such a important part of this Christian faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. Believing is a lighter burden than doubting. (:

I'm sitting at my desk blogging now. I studied a little earlier on and did my assignment. Haha, i'm still contemplating if i should go for the dinner thingy with the drama mamas later. I need money, cannot be such a spendthrift. LOLx.

I think it's so cool that kexin can share with me her experiences in SOT, I come to know God even more through her spiritual encounters with God and it births within me a desire to experience it for myself. I want to be in SOT.

stephiephoe.

21 days of prayer and fasting

21 days of encounters, 21 opportunities to know Him more, 21 days of sacrifice, 21 days of adventure.

Boy, I am excited.

Stephiephoe.

nice and clean!

I feel really really good after packing my room! Yesterday , I was still feeling all grumpy as a result of the horrible horrible mess in my room. After the trip to IKEA, things changed! haha, I bought boxes that were uber cheap to pack my room, and also got a new chair, it's red. The boxes are red, my table legs are red. I LOVE RED. I also threw away all the old and irrelevant stuff that made me feel so good after everything.Oh gosh, I so want a lomocamera! this is so cute right? and it's like only $32. The spree is closed luh, but I hope this person still have instocks! *prays hard*

Hmm, i'm so into James Frey's new book-Bright Shiny Morning. Awesome. Like really. GO READ IT TOO!


Stephiephoe.
taking time to enjoy life before all the studying begins.