wonder

Currently listening: Reset-Super Junior

It's LEETEUK! XD

In life, there are just so many things that we don't understand. As humans, we try to understand everything possible. But God doesn't require us to do that all the time. It's funny isn't it?

Happy mother's day...

If in life, we could just press the reset button, things would be much easier ain't it so? When the exams are here, we reset it back to the holidays. If we said or done something that we shouldn't have, we reset it back to where things used to be.  Life would be simpler. Corrections anytime. But sadly, it doesn't work like that. We pay for our actions. We bear the consequences. 

I wish I have more time. I wish I can be more stretched. I probably cannot have enough time for everyone and myself...But still I wish to be more involved in everyone's lives. Use me O Lord. Stretch me and enlarge me I pray.

Elison.

너 올 때까지

I suppose this is the first F.T. Island song I've uploaded onto my blog. It's a very nice song...As usual, Hongki is emo enough for this. Amazingly, he sang this song when he was merely 17. Let me think what I was doing when I was 17. *scratches head*

Anyway, it's 12.33am but I'm not at all tired. All thanks to the mynah this morning. Let me go on to elaborate on this mynah (minor) incident. I was happy in lala land when I was awaken by the flapping of wings against my glass windows. For those people who have been into my room, you'd know that my entire section of the wall is covered with windows, so the flapping was really loud. I tried knocking on the window to chase the bird away, but the noise continued, and the bird even started chirping. It was like 7am. So I decided to move out of my bed and headed off to the living room sofa to attempt to catch some sleep. But the mynah probably wanted to play with me, flew to the living room window ( which is just next to my room's) and started chirping like nobody's business. I tried to shoo it away many times, but it just went on and on! I closed the window cause I was afraid it might fly into my house, BUT I COULD STILL HEAR THE BIRD! The incident did not occur for like 30mins, it went on till about 10 plus in the morning...Finally I managed to get back to sleep. After sooooo long. I hope the bird doesn't come again tomorrow morning. I need proper rest. ahhhhh, 鸟鸟... =.=

Ah, parents and kids. I think God has created us with this really strange relationship. We all want the best for the people we love. Our parents want the best for us, and likewise as children, we want to give the best that we can to them. At this age, I guess my "best" is so limited. Financially I am not independent. I can't give them all the gifts and money that they may need. With the approaching mother's day, I'm really wrecking my brains on what to get for my mother. Aye, 나 알아, study hard and earn big bucks right? We've all said these since we were like toddlers. The future just seems to far away. Money may not be the most important thing in life, but without money, we'll all be in trouble. Ah, messed out. My brain is malfunctioning at the moment. 죄송합니다. It's an aimless fight. I'll never be able to outgive them. The great love of our parents. Just like daddy God, we can never outgive him. 

Elison.

홍기야...

Ahhh, 홍기 is such a pretty boy, 너무 에쁘다..I feel happy just looking at his pretty pictures. Anyway, I'm sorry that I haven't blogged for the entire week. As most of you would have known, I was caught up with the SAT. Now that it's over already, I'm so glad. I felt that I had been neglecting my Korean because of the exams. I didn't have the time to revise and memorise my Korean words. Yay, finally today, 시간이 있어요, 그래서, 집에서 공부해요. ㅋㅋㅋ...나 알아, 난 아주 열심히 오전.

Yesterday, it was really funny how we met the 2 Korean girls on the train home. Ahh, I suppose taking the train to tanah merah each week would give us ample chances to meet koreans. But I need to pluck up my courage to so randomly talk to them. I felt so embarrassed yesterday! Ahh, I wished my Korean was better, like at Level 4 or something, then I probably would be able to converse more effectively with them. But it's okay! I'll study hard now. Lest I regret in the future...

Mam mam mam. I'm so bored. Ah, someone, save me! :(

Elison.

행복이란

오늘 기분이 너무 너무 좋아해요.

I guess I had a really good talk with Barry. He reminded me of things I've forgotten and taught me many things along the way. Ahh, I was so nervous preaching earlier. But I'm glad I still did it! :D Thanks Barry for believing in me. 

Anyway, this was something I learned from Barry today...

To know God as three persons is to know the Godhead in its fullness. There is only one God — the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. "Hear, O Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one” (Deut. 6:4). The three are one God. To illustrate this in a simple way, we have one sun in the sky, but in that sun you have the light and you have the heat that comes off the sun. You can't separate them even though they are distinct and have three purposes. The sun could represent the Father, the light could represent the Son and the heat could be the Holy Ghost. You can't separate the Godhead, sometimes called the “three-in-one.”

What a unique but easy to understand way to explain about our triune God. The Sun. I thought it was really interesting and I'd just share it here with you...

There are many things to learn. Nonetheless, the walk with God is most important. Things may not always go the way we want them to. The important thing is to know that Man disappoints, but God doesn't. For everything you do, do it unto the Lord. For everything in life, trust in the Lord, and not in Man. Your confidence and esteem must be built on the Lord. Love, and let love. 

Taking time to set the foundations right...

Elison.

deep thoughts are not always visible.

Ah, I was surfing the net today...watching maangchi teach her readers how to prepare all the korean dishes, I started looking for pictures of 도시락..This bear is so cute right? I think if someone ever makes me a 도시락 like that, I won't BEAR to eat it cause it's BEARY cute. LOL.. Anyway, yesterday I finally managed to find the food thermos I had been looking for! Yes, it has 2 separate containers inside, one for rice, one for soup and one for side dishes. Really cool eh? With this I think I'll cook more in the future, since I can bring them out.

Ahh, I'm learning. Thus far, I've succeeded in making 닭죽, 김밥 and 김치 볶음밥...When I find the time to make a trip to a korean groceries store, I'd go grab some ingredients to make 순두부 찌개 and 잡채. I ALSO WANT TO TRY MAKING MY OWN 도시락! Hahah, I really want to try making the egg rolls that Lee Minho ate in Boys over flowers. Kekeke.

I'm a really good girl today. I stayed home and cleaned up my room. It amounted to six sacks of rubbish to be thrown away. A lot eh?

I found the old letters that people have written to me over the years. I suppose I've already thrown some away cause I couldn't find those really antique ones...My letters have amounted to 2 giant ziplock bags full. When I took them out to read today, I thought about what the person was trying to tell me at the point in my life, and what I probably would have replied to that letter. I thought about the kind of friendship we used to share. I found letters from people whom I really wished our friendship lasted. It's sad they didn't survive the test of time. I relinquished the promises that didn't last. Letters written for the sake of doing so? Letters that lacked sincerity. Letters that I wished I never received. But it was heartwarming to read letters from friendships that did, and I guess these letters did draw me closer to them. People like Meitong, Yunrui, Peixuan, James...their letters were of comfort and support to me. James wrote me the most letters. Aye, cause I know him for the longest time in church. Peixuan wrote me the longest letters, she's so longwinded? Hahah, jk jk, I love long letters. Actually I just love letters. I think they really bring back valuable memories.

Currently listening: 마주치지 말자(Let's not) - Super Junior

이 순간이 마지막이라고
그토록 사랑한 그 대가에
넌 돌리려 해도 울며 매달려도
그냥 싫다며 헤어짐을 말한 나야.

난 항상 강한 척만 하지만
평생 너 하나 지킬 자신 없어 떠난
비겁한 남자야

다신 나 같은 사람 사랑하지 말고
다신 그리워할 사람 만들지 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서
하루도 못 버틸 만큼 사랑해주는 사람 만나 제발

넌 아파 날 잡으려 하지만
평생 내 곁엔 행복해질 자신 없는
비겁한 여자야

다신 나 같은 사람 사랑하지 말고
다신 그리워할 사람 만들지 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서
하루도 못 버틸 만큼 사랑해주는 사람 만나

언젠가 우리 헤어짐을 후회한대도
이별 밖에는 난 해줄게 없어

지난 시간을 세며 아파 울지 말고
지난 바보 같은 사랑 그리워 말고
너만 바라보고 너 아님 안 돼서 하루도 못 버틸 만큼
사랑해 주는 사람 만나 제발 행복하기를
두 번 다시는 마주치지 말자

Saying that this moment is the last
To you whom i loved so much
Even if you try to turn it back
Even if you hold onto me crying
I was the one who said no and bid our farewell

I always act strong
But I'm a cowardly man
Didn't have the confidence to protect you forever and left

Don't love someone like me again
Don't make someone miss again
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day, please..

Hurting, you try to hold me back
But I'm a cowardly man
Who doesn't have confidence
to give a lifetime of happiness to a woman

Don't love someone like me again
Don't make someone miss again
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day

Even if we are ever to regret our breakup
I can't do anything but give you our farewell

Don't cry in pain counting the time that has passed.
Don't miss a foolish love that's already passed
One who looks only at you and needs only you
Meet someone who loves you so much that he can't go without you for a day, please I hope that you'll be happy.
Let's not ever meet again.

It's a very touching song which talks about a man giving up on this woman he loves because he believes she can find someone much better than him. I think it'd be suitable as a drama song...Probably can make me cry. Haha, but K.R.Y sang this song with so much emotions in it. It's really beautiful, and their vocals are just amazing. Nice ballad! XD

Okay, post getting too long. I'll update again soon.

Elison.

생각

Maybe I demand too much. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe. Maybe. Why would our friendship reach this stage? Perhaps our problem was never solved. We're merely going in circles. 

Yea, if you noticed, my blog is now white. 

Elison.

병든

Current track: 눈물이 흐른다- F.T. Island

Aye, thinking about Tuesday, I really want to laugh. Like how I had thoughts about walking into that place but ended up not doing so actually saved myself from an extremely awkward situation. I mean I won't know how to react if I actually walked in. I would probably be very overwhelmed by the situation and be affected. It pays to listen to the Holy Spirit I guess. I can't imagine what would have happened if I stuck to my thought of going to that place. 

Sometimes, I really think I handle situations badly. Or maybe I'm just like many others out there. When faced with something I don't want or don't know how to react to, I'd run away. Avoiding it seems to be the best solution. 나는 다치고 싶지 않다. We all want to be happy, don't we? Aigoo, but I know it's bad. Xuan and James will always tell me to talk about it. But I guess it requires a lot of courage to do it. Many times, I just can't garner enough courage to do so. I'm not coward,  it's just not easy. I need to be sure of myself, what I am feeling, whether I am in the wrong, whether it's just my solitary biased opinion, so on and so forth, before I can confirm my view about something. I'm not a reckless person. 

Not everything needs to be expressed in words. Actions tell a lot too. Feelings are more than 70% reliable. We must realise that God moves, and He speaks. The heart senses and can discern. No matter how hard you may try, to me, it's nothing but a facade.

미안해요, 미안.

Elison.