질식사

Please, you're suffocating me. You are pushing me. You are pressurising me.
It was supposed to be something happy, yet you are making me sick. The stress that you give me, deters me. It's not supposed to be this way. Please, don't kill me... You are making me go crazy! 당신이 우리의 우정을 걸고있다. You're hurting me. You make me feel condemned. You make me feel like a lousy person. I need a breather.

To each a level of faith, to each a level of consecration. Pardon me if mine doesn't match up with yours, but please, don't judge me.

My heart, needs to be touched, needs to be refreshed. God, I'm sorry for feeling so.

So many thoughts.

Elison.

crap?

Talking about crap, I realised it is also a vulgar word like s**t. I only realised when I went to dictionary dot com today. Haha, the right word to use is defaecate. LOL, I must apologise for how explicitly and unsightly this blog entry is due to the foul language. but I guess educating my readers is a very important mission you see. Heh, I'm so sorry. :D

I realised many ppl have been asking me where I go to to fangirl. rawr, i'll put up the links to the websites soon so you can go there as well...

Anyways, I have nothing to blog about really. Pardon me for changing blog songs so rapidly, cause song addictions do change, and this song by Ast'1 has a really nice catchy tune...So I couldn't help it.. I met up with Peixuan for dinner today, had a good talk with her. After that Yuanling and James came to join us. Haha, we fought over Thomas again. =.=

I guess the multiplication challenged me to look at things in a different perspective. And because the group is smaller, it's easier to take a step back to evaluate all the relationships I have with the people in n444, giving me room to contemplate and plan for the times ahead. A new cell group marks many new beginnings, but it all buoys down to Him, our first love. It's important not to keep chasing after a vision and forget the one who is the source.

Elison.

사랑 하지 마요

It's lunch time now in the office, and I'm so zonking out. Rawr, the rush in blood glucose level just makes me sleepy. But Ft Island makes me happy! :) Currently listening to 사랑 하지 마요 ( Don't ever love) from their Colorful Sensibility Album. Initially, it was the tune of the song and Hongki's amazing voice that captured my attention. But the lyrics of the song are so sad, and you can feel the emotions through Hongki's voice. :D Kpop is just awesome.

사랑 하지 마요 ( Don't ever Love) - FT Island
I have to leave, I have to hurry and leave
Affection will turn into tears
So that I can’t see the one I left behind
I have to hurry a bit more and leave
She is crying,
the love that I leave
The overwhelming sadness is flowing
It is so difficult to take a step
With her back to me
She stands, crying

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt as much as I loved
But I was wrong. It hurts a thousand times more

I’m afraid of living with my eyes open
Because I know I won’t see you even if I look for you
It seems better to fall asleep exhausted
After longing for you

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt as much as I loved
But I was wrong. It hurts a
thousand times more

Just once, one
more time, can’t we try it? Can’t we?
I cry out like an idiot to myself

Don’t ever love
It hurts enough to die
You will cry everyday
I told myself that when love comes again
that it would be easier
and that it would last
But I was wrong.
Not for my love
Not for me

However sad it may be in the song, God called us to love! So about 사랑 하지 마요? Haha, not that applicable?

Just have some thoughts in my mind. I guess we need to learn to be less concerned about ourselves and begin to learn how to make sacrifices. Holiness in it's essence, it's not about how many prayer meetings you attend, or how many christian songs you listen to on your ipod. When the heart is right, all that flows out will be right.

Elison.

Work

I'm currently blogging in the office. I'm trying to catch a break from the endless list of names we have to mail letters to. Kevin is sleeping, and I don't know what Ivan is doing.

But anyways, the results are out. I don't know what to say, it's not too bad, but it isn't all that excellent either. Well... multiplication. New cg, new beginning. But may friendships continue to burn strongly.

I'm fangirling over ft island in the office. HAHA..Gotta get back to work. Will blog again soon.

Elison.

destiny of love (shinhwa)

Yeah I want you to listen closely to what I have to say
first thing you left me The next thing I got nothing
everything was gone with you check it

Although I used to hope that the morning would arrive
But I tremble from my sad longing and I cry again

Everyone lives happily but why am I trapped in darkness
I long for you who have left, will I live my days in hell

You're breathing in my heart, how do I forget you and continue to live
The shattering separation, the broken pieces are hurting my heart
Deciding to leave it behind and trying to forget, but there's a huge void without you
Even if I hurt til I die I will still wait for you, until you come

Even if I try to close my eyes I will keep seeing you, I seem to be going crazy
Even if it's just once, if I could see you, I will be fine

you see I'm a helpless all I can do
I have nothing hopeless want no more or nothing' less
you said it's all for the best from one to ten I can't forget it
From the beginning til the end you say time go fast don't tell me that

you know I want you back
You're breathing in my heart, how do I forget you and continue to live
The shattering separation, the broken pieces are hurting my heart
Deciding to leave it behind and trying to forget, but there's a huge void without you

Even if I hurt til I die I will still wait for you, until you come
Even if everything in the world disappeared, I still couldn't erase you
Your scent still remains even now, only as the hatred that is my wound
I can't let you go, I definitely can't let you go
baby please don't leave me alone please come back

I wrote a letter without an address, I called a number that has already been changed
I smile and greet you in a photograph that has yellowed
Are you living well without me, or are you sad
Is there anything that makes you worried more than hating me

If I erase the love in my heart that has cooled, how do I live
I hate myself for not forgetting this love, although I really hate it
I'm using this heart to say I love you, I love you, I love you
Even if my heart stops beating I will still wait for you, until you come
Elison.

gee

LOL, Infinity Challenge is so cool!Sorry to john, but I found it really interesting that Park Myung Soo seems so suitable to be a SNSD member! See...
I don't mean the pose, I mean I really think PMS belongs with SNSD. LOLx...

Anyway, I'm videoing all I can today since I'll have less time to do so when I start work tml...So, I was on allkpop today, and there was some discussion about MR videos. Netizens have been spreading MR removed videos all over the internet lately. MR stands for Music Recorded while in MR removed videos, the music and instruments are minimized, resulting in a maximization of the artist vocals. It's really cool cause it helps you gauge the singers you're supporting, whether or not they really possess good vocals, or are just pretty/handsome faces.

Ignoring Lee Soo Man and whatever he had done to his artistes, we have to admit that SM entertainment has some of the BEST singers in the entertainment industry. SHINee, TVXQ, originally Shinhwa, BoA, etc. SM really knows how to screen and select those with potential then groom them into awesome singers.

dang, I'm bored. I want to eat salmon.

Ahh! I want to watch kkot! 2 more days! Hyun Joong cut his hair, now he looks so much like jaejoong! the hair is so similar.

it's time to grow.

Elison.

kkotboda namja

There are some reasons why I really hate watching korean dramas.

Number 1.
They make you cry like nobody's business. Episode 14 of kkotboda namja was so horribly sad. Seeing how Goo Joon Pyo treated Jandi despite his love for her was just too much to handle. Plus, the evil mother of his at work, I could just die from detesting her. I cried so much! Just feeling the emotions given out by the actors and actresses...I must say they are really good at giving and taking, bouncing off each other.

Number 2.
There are those super sweet guys that make you feel like you'd want a guy like them in the future. LOL, looking at how sweet Jihoo is to Jandi although he knows that Jandi's heart is for JoonPyo, he only wants to try his best to cheer her up, and make her happy. The thing is...he knows just how to do it! Success. Yi Jung is very cute and sweet too, deep inside, he's starting to develop feelings to Gaeul..and it was interesting how he was standing up for Jandi against JoonPyo, teaching him what a real man is. Aww...korean dramas.

Lalala, I think Kim Hyun Joong is soooooo good at being Yoon Ji Hoo...Not just because he plays the violin like me okay...it's the charisma he exudes! charming...

Okay, enough sobbing for the day. next episode will have to wait till monday. I've gotta go get ready to go out...

Now playing- SHINee 그녀가 헤어졌다 (One for me)

A lot of thoughts came when I picked up the phone just before.
She said her boyfriend whom she loved cheated on her yesterday
Even though I’m going to the girl who’s crying,
I can’t suppress my happiness.
I have been waiting for this day
The day I can lend her my shoulder and wipe away her tears

I want to make a place by her side, always by her side, not as a friend, but as a man
I’ll hold her in my arms and tell her I’ll protect her from sadness

Over there is the girl crying with her neck down on her two knees.
I first take out a handkerchief and hand it to her
“Forget it! You will forget it, trust me.”
I cheered you up like that
And said to find someone who’ll only look at you
She was sorry, but she looked more prettier
Definitely today more than yesterday

I want to make a place by her side, always by her side, not as a friend, but as a man
I’ll hold her in my arms and tell her I’ll protect her from sadness

The time has come
Even though she’s in my arms, crying,
It’s the time I can
Become a comfortable place for her (Like a blanket)
I’ll become a dependable man that you can look at.
You are the one for me!

I want to make a place by her side, always by her side, not as a friend, but as a man
I’ll hold her in my arms and tell her I’ll protect her from sadness

I want to make a place in her heart where no one can break into.
Even when you’re in pain or full of tears, you’ll be a strong person who’ll never fall down

Oh! Not again will we let go after being apart and her finding me
I’ll hold the girl I’ve been waiting for in my arms. Leave her to me, believe me.
That person is the one who left a scar on your heart! Crazy!
The unforgettable memories are disappearing. Love is forgotten by love.
Now just look at me standing beside you.

Okay, sometimes it seems as though the lyrics makes no sense, but somethings are lost in translation..tsk tsk

간다..

Elison.