it's coming.

Photo credit naver.com

I received a message from Bingrong last night, reminding me that its less than 2 months to my 21st birthday. Thanks so much for reminding me. =.= Haha. Sometimes I hate being born at the start of the year, because it clashes with the new school term, people keep saying I'm old, and i don't get presents. But there are times when I really like being born at the start of the year. Cause as i approach the new year, I also approach a new age. It kind of helps to set my direction right as I turn another year older, with regards to what have I achieved throughout the year, and what I want to achieve in the coming one.

This birthday, I will turn 21. I will become an adult. 2011. I will go to Korea. Take a plane for the first time. Live without my parents for the first time. 2011. We will move to Suntec. I will miss the first stage for Drama Ministry. I will miss my cell group. I will miss my bffs' birthdays. There are many things to give up for the dream I'm pursuing. This is adulthood maybe?

So many people have said that I am a baby. And they always say that they can expect what I'm going to say and stuff. But is that true? How sure are you that that joking, laughing, noisy Steph is the real her? Haha. It's funny. I'm blessed naturally with great interpersonal skills. I just know how to make people laugh, even when they laugh at me, its okay. cause my objective is to make people happy. But apart from that persona, apart from liking kpop, apart from all that, there is a real me that perhaps not many people know of.

21 is coming. Time to grow up! Recent example of a 21-year-old irks me. =.=

Stephie.

22.10.2010

I'm sorry that I haven't been blogging in such a long while. There's been so much work to do. I'm going crazy.

I'm taking some time to pen things here, but things are accumulating. I have no idea why all lecturers like week 12 so much! I have this huge amount of things due on week 12, but I have a test next week/week11! And the internship I'm trying to apply for closes this Sunday. I hope I make it in time to write then send my cover letter. With so many things at hand, I don't know how it may be possible to do it, God will pull me through. I may be unable, but my God is able.

I haven't gone for tuition this week because of the crazy workload. I'm missing Hyunjun! :) Yay, cause I will see him today. Even though he throws tantrums at me sometimes, makes me boil like crazy at others, but he's still that adorable kid. I guess I don't blame him cause he's just 10. Haha, "bery good".

Okay, gotta go and bathe the dog. I think when I go to Korea, no one would bathe him. Zzzz. He's not even my dog per se. =.=

I've got to keep some emotions in check, lest they run out of hand.

Stephie.

bedtime

I should be turning in now but I really felt like I needed to write something here before I go to bed. I can't possibly turn in with all the thoughts and emotions going through me.

说话的时候，必须顾虑到别人的感受。就算是再要好的朋友，也会有不能说的话。而有些话，更不能公开地在别人面前说。 因为就算是开个玩笑，也会让人下不了台。I guess this is when "renewing your mind" comes in- letting go of this bad emotions and meditating on the Word.

该停止了，不能这样继续。收拾一下就得走了。似有似无, 也许这就是人心的恐怖，永远都猜不透。不该想， 不该， 不能， 不可以。

Stephie.

Coffee

It's 2am. I just finished reading through the letter for group meeting tomorrow. Attempted to work through the focus group transcript but got really frustrated trying to do so cause my ear is blocked on the left due to the cold. =.= I totally can't make out what the caucasian girl was saying in the entire discussion! So I gave up, shall do that tomorrow.

Just thought I'd just want to take a minute or two to write a little something here. I feel like drinking starbucks. HAHA.

There are tests this week. I really hope I'd be able to do well. Kind of worried cause it's finance. Urgh. Kill me. And there are still so many things apart from mugging to be done! I wish I have 48hours a day instead. Sigh.

Tomorrow will be a long day...

Stephie.

Jun

Yesterday I went with Jwenda to meet HyunJun. Ah, he's so cuteeeeeee~ I want to bring him home. Our very handsome tutee who is all alone here in Singapore. I really empathise with him a lot. My maternal instinct seems to be kicking in way too early. :S He's so shy! And his korean accent when he says "bery yummy" when he meant "very yummy" is just way too cute. I can remember his shocked face when I understood his Korean and his mutterings-to-self that I'm good with my Korean. Ah, too cute, i'm falling off my chair.

I asked him if I could stay with him, he said okay!ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ 진짜 귀여워요~

화영오빠...

ㅋㅋㅋ 미안해요.

난 깜박 잊어버렸어요...

한국어 공부하는 것을 많이 도와 줘서 너무 감사드리구요.

ㅋㅋㅋ내년 한국에 갈 때 잘 부탁해요!

ㅎ 술을 제외하고 많이 도와 주세요!

Enjoy your exchange here!~

love,

phie.

the mornings.

Time passes really quickly. It is instructional week 4 already.

Every morning I wake up, counting down to the end of this semester, counting down to going to Seoul. Yet a part of me lingers over my homeland, over the people here- my family, my friends, and even my dog. Having to go away for so long is an exciting and scary thought all at the same time. Regardless of what I feel, I have to go. I have to get out of Singapore, out of my comfort zone, to see the world, improve my skills and to learn independence.

한국에 갈 때 너 꼭 만나야 해... ㅠ.ㅠ

만일 우리 못 만나면 어쩌겠소?

아이고...

Grandma is out of the hospital already. Thank God. The doctors still have not figured out what is wrong with her. It's like a House case happening in reality. =.= I really want her to stay healthy, praying that her fever won't come back.

This week has been pretty hectic. I had a presentation on Monday and I have to prepare for 2 other presentations and 1 other assignment for next week. Will be off to bathe and leave for project meeting in a while.

I'm excited to follow Jwenda언니 to meet the Korean kid later. Think about the struggles a 20 year old kid may have when living alone in a country, then think about this kid. He's here all alone. Only 10 years old, in pursuit of a good education, away from his parents and living with people who don't speak his native language. My heart really goes all out for him. I really hope I'd be able to help him, in one way or another, really.

This semester has been great so far. Even though work has been crazy and some people have been driving me crazy, I thank God for the people who keep me sane. Superdan, Zen Shawn, Qiqi, I'm thankful I get to meet you guys so often. It satisfies my 2009V cravings. Michell and Zishan! I miss you 2 the most. :( and Uncle Derrick! Our after school dinners at Lot One. Haha.

Hyunjae, Kwangwoo and Clement! I'm glad you guys liked the 잡채 I made! Can't wait for us to celebrate 추석together. Seriously, Hyunjae, you made this semester really interesting, and you're really the best buddy I've had so far, apart from 도도. I really hope you and Kwangwoo would enjoy this time in Singapore, and I can't wait to go over to KU. :D As for Clement, come and find us after you finish your semester in US! We must meet in Korea with 오빠들. 꼭~

Okay, gotta go now.

Love,

phie.

fade in fade out.

Picture credits photographyblogger.net

Life is like a vicious cycle, taking it's toll on me. While one event fades into the background, another fades out into the centre stage. It seems like it just never ends, does it?

Just in case some of you start to misunderstand, my life too is like a roller coaster ride. There are times when I cry thinking about certain things, but the next minute i'm all chirpy and butterflying around. It's not that I'm never sad, it's not that my life is good. I just think I should have a little more faith. just a teeny weeny bit more.

Like now, I just wish this would fade away for me.

Stephie.